Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

August 18th, 2011

Home Improvement Projects

We are in serious home improvement mode right now, first this spring we had the front walk finally finished. The project my husband started two years ago when he was laid off, and wasn’t able to finish because he went back to work full time.    But when we moved in the house originally almost 4 years ago, we wanted to put stairs off of our back deck.

It was a closed in second floor deck.  Beautiful deck, but I just couldn’t figure out why the previous owners built it without stairs or an exit.   I mean, don’t most second floor decks have stairs?

Needless to say, minus the stairs it was a project to bring the kids out into the yard. I would have to pack everything I needed for the boys, and Addie in the stroller, or a bag, then we would have to walk around the side of the house, down a flight of stairs… just to play.  Doing this several times a day was just not an option once Addie joined us, especially wielding a stroller down the side steps made of cement.  Even more dangerous with a baby IN the stroller.

I was over the moon when my husband and his aunt decided it was finally time to install the stairs. I was even more excited when they hired a contractor instead of my husband taking a month to do it himself.  And let me tell you, now that they are up… I LOVE MY STAIRS!

I never thought in a million years I would actually be this excited about a wooden set of stairs.  Seriously… STAIRS!  But it just makes my life so much easier!  The only thing I have had to get used to is no longer having a door in my kitchen with the side deck.   Oh yeah, I didn’t tell you about that one!   The porch on the side of our house is gone!  I am thinking that little corner in the kitchen will now make a nice pantry for extra storage space since our cabinet space is next to nothing.   But before anything I think the whole room needs a fresh coat of paint!

Little by little everything we have wanted to do for so long is starting to take form!

Oh and did I mention my husband is starting a new job in 10 days!  More exciting news in our house. at first I thought I was going to be more worried about money, and the chance you take from starting a new job, and the pay check transitions… You know all the stuff us crazy responsible adults actually consider with such a big move like this.  But I am ok… I am ok knowing that it is a better job, and closer to home.  Something my husband needs.

Only downside?  It looks like our weekends are going to be in the middle of the week… The days he gets off will alternate from week to week, but it looks like Tuesday and Wednesday will be Daddy’s days home.  Who cares right?    In the end it is going to be a much more positive move for the family during these years while my husband finishes preparing for ultimately working as a paid fire fighter.

Big changed in our house!

August 17th, 2011

It Took Me Three Kids To Pick Up Coffee

It seems like coffee is a really popular trend among virtually anyone who has kids. Dunkin’ Donuts, Starbucks, whatever goes… And for me, I always hated coffee.

I thought it was gross and the closest you would ever see me get to it was a Coffee Coolata from Dunkin Donuts because it was basically frozen goodness, and didn’t imitate coffee well.

But in the months before Addison was born, and the fact that I had two toddlers already, and a newborn was pending at any moment, I invested in a Keurig machine. I figured with the right amount of sugar and french vanilla coffee mate, I could make something similar to the Starbucks frappuccino’s my husband had got me addicted to.

But it didn’t strike me till months later.. like now, that it took me three kids, in a little under 4 years to actually pick up coffee… something most parents rave about before they are actually even parents. I guess I must have had some kind of super energy, or maybe I just function well on a serious lack of sleep because that is what my life has dealt me.

People would ask… How do you do it?  Um… I just do?  I didn’t have a magic formula or pixie dust that I could direct them to. I just thought that is what motherhood was?  Color me confused!

Then I not only picked up making coffee at home, but I finally discovered a flavored coffee at Dunkin’ Donuts that I shortly became obsessed with.  Carmel Mocha iced coffee… drool!  Then they came out with a new caramel turtle flavor… I believe at this point they were specifically targeting me ad my love for all things which include caramel, nuts, nuts and chocolate.

Now when people ask me how I do it?   The answer is… lots and lots of coffee!   But I am kind of proud I can say it took me till my third child to actually pick the habit up!

What is your favorite coffee?

August 16th, 2011

Two Free Things Tuesday!

It is back!   Just in time for the last couple weeks of the summer. Although I may continue something similar once school is in for the year. Maybe something free you can do with your children who are at home during the day?   We’ll see!

So this week for our indoor activity we have the rainy day project I blogged about a couple days ago on Babble’s new blog Toddler Times.  All you need is a card board box, and some Christmas lights. Although, you can get fancy and use construction paper, or whatever else to decorate your box.

We did this two weeks ago and the boys loved it, although if you leave them alone with it for even just 4 minutes… they will pull the entire thing apart!

All the instructions, and step-by-step process is listed in the post.   A big thank you to Pinterest for this great find!

Hours of Entertainment: Christmas Light Edition

And for a photo of the finished product…

Now for our outdoor free thing of the week!

Go to the beach!   One thing we love in our family is the beach. I think it all started by actually growing up on the beach as a child for me. I know it was something I always wanted for my children as well.  We go as much as we can, because we are pretty close. Unfortunately I know not everyone is as close to a beach as we are, and for others it may cost money to go to your local public beach.

Pack a small picnic lunch, a couple trucks, or toys to play with in the sand, and have a grand old time!  You don’t need to stay for hours on end to have a great time either!   Just the trip can always be an exciting adventure!

Be sure to check out the previous weeks!

Week 1
Week 2
Week 3
Week 4
Week 5
Week 6

August 14th, 2011

Wrap Up

On Sunday I am going to try and do a wrap up post of everything I published for the week, whether it was here or on Babble.  I have been doing some awesome craft posts, and projects on Toddler Time recently since starting, so of course I wanted to share.

Starting with Toddler Times:

How Old Is Too Old To Bathe Together?  – Breaking down the door or nudity hang ups in America.  But when it is no longer comfortable for some to bathe with their children, or have their children share a bath or shower?
I Still Check On My Sleeping Toddler – A little post about how crazy I am to get up in the middle of the night to check and make sure the boys are still breathing.
Time Out Craft Project – Timing a timeout can be tricky. So here is a little craft project to help the timing of a time out. It also helps to be able to put timing on things like brushing teeth!
STOP!  Potty Time! {Giveaway}  – Enter to win a baby bjorn golden potty!  Giving away 3!
Toy Of Choice: Daddy – A wrap up of the boys favorite toy… including pictures!
Hours of Entertainment: Christmas Light Edition – A cardboard box, Christmas lights, and hours of fun for two toddlers.  I promise this is probably the funnest craft project we have done in a while!
Does Your Toddler Use a Smartphone?  Mine Does! – Talking about statistics of toddlers using smartphones in the new generation.
Are Bento Lunches Worth The Time? – Are those cute little bento lunches really worth the time it takes to make them?

Then catching up with Addison on Baby’s First Year:

She Sits Up!  Kinda… Mamas & Papas Snug Giveaway – Enter to win a Snug by Mamas and Papas!
Cora’s Story and Newborn Screening -  I featured a post written by Kristine Brite McCormack a friend of mine, and her efforts to help institute Pulse Ox testing at birth to help prevent the loss of anymore babies. Amazing work after losing her daughter.
Addie and the Tale of the Owl Lovie – Addison and her new found obsession with an owl blankie.
Why Does Everyone Assume You Formula Feed?  – Just a vent of mine wondering why everyone automatically assumes you formula feed. At least locally around here…

And of course I absolutely love a couple posts I wrote this week here on Momotics.
Although in the next couple months, Momotics is going to be moving and transforming.

Cyber Bullying Isn’t Just For Teens – A break down of the cyber bullying epidemic, and what I was able to learn event though I didn’t attend the BlogHer conference this year.   A big thanks to all the panel members who took on this very serious issue.
Back to School a New Realm of Parenting – Taking on the whole back to school thing for the first time!
The Demon of Postpartum Depression – I opened up to talk about my battle with postpartum depression.

Hope you enjoy all the posts as much as I enjoyed writing them!

August 11th, 2011

Cyber Bullying Isn’t Just For Teens

Cyber bullying… It is everywhere.

Facebook, blogs, twitter… anyplace you can imagine… it is there. But why?  People wouldn’t feel that this type of harassment is ok in day-to-day life, of course because most know it is illegal and they would most certainly face criminal charges.

But little do these bullies know… harassing someone online, and cyber bullying is also illegal and can be punished in various forms, and I didn’t even learn that until this past weekend after being in the blog world, and being harassed online for almost a decade.

It originally started when I was 17 by an ex boyfriend and his friends, and it seems like with the websites like Myspace, Facebook, and back then it was Livejournal… the harassment did nothing but grow. Between rude comments, false statements about me, rumors, and of course the typical fake profile imitating and mimicking me, it made the internet simply unpleasant. I took quite the vacation… in fact my apartment in North Carolina didn’t even have an internet connection for the first three months I was there…  Hard to believe right?

Once I moved back to Connecticut in the mid 2005ish time frame, I think it was actually fall that year I began to get back into the internet community, and nothing ever changed.

Since that time I have had to call the police, as well as FBI… no joke because most of the harassment I had experienced crossed state lines.  Just when I thought most stopped… it started up again with the same two people.  One local, one not… you have to wonder how anyone can think harassing behavior is acceptable. Ever.  Especially for mothers!

But this week I took the time to read the transcript from the cyber bullying session at BlogHer 11 in San Diego.  One of the sessions I was most interested in checking out. I am really glad that the transcripts were available this year as well. I was able to take a lot away from it…  a lot!

It is amazing the levels people will go to, but what is most amazing is that as time goes on and this is becoming more of a problem, police departments are finally starting t take the problem seriously and actually take criminal action against these people.  There are also lawyers out there who are starting to specialize in Defamation stemming from the internet.  HALLELUIAH!  Finally!   And you can bet your bottom dollar I have kept a file of all of my harassment encounters like the panel in the session suggests.

One of the amazing panel members Erin Vest, also known as The Queen of Spain said:

But you need to document everything, even if you don’t think it crosses the line. Document it. Keep it in a folder and when you get really uncomfortable, you take it to your local authorities. They may not be able to do anything about it, but they need to start a file, as Elisa said. You must start a file and you must have them at least document it.
And then when the day comes where they do cross a line in your state that is considered a threat, you already have this nice big documented folder at either your sheriff’s station or local police station and on your computer with all of your screen shots and everything else. They are ready to move on it. The detective has a little less work to do because in a way you have done it for him or her. So make sure you document absolutely everything.

If you could only see some of the files I have, it would make you wonder why people have nothing better to do!

The other panel member, Andrea Weckerle also included:

If you’re put in something called false light or appropriation of your identity, if somebody is assuming your identity, you can pursue a civil case.
There are pros and cons to taking that course of action. You have to find out how much it will cost you from a money perspective, from an emotional perspective. Things often get worse before they become better. But you do have legal recourse in a lot of cases. You just need to really, really become familiar with what your legal rights are.

Writers… KNOW YOUR RIGHTS!  Know what action you can take! And know that you do not have to tolerate people harassing you!

Audience member Patty Fitzgerald said:

One of the things that I find is that I really like how you said take it to the brick and mortar world. There seems to be a disconnect. We think of the real world and we think of online. It’s really just an extension and I do think that it’s important not to feed the troll but also to document all of that.

Another great point. This is not acceptable behavior in the real world, it shouldn’t be acceptable online… ever. One thing I have also noticed is with the new generation of middle schooler’s, and teens… they find if this behavior is acceptable online then it must be acceptable in school, home, or in their day-to-day lives.   It is not. And it is NOT!   We need to start to teach these children that they will be held accountable for their actions.

Long story short, even though I wasn’t able to physically go to BlogHer this year I was still able to take a ton away from it.  Thank you to the panel members for putting their time, and resources into this amazingly helpful session. I am also looking forward to reading through the other sessions that I haven’t had a chance to get to yet.  They are long, and I have three kids, and a job. LOL!

For those of you who went to the conference, any sessions you highly recommend?

They aren’t learning these behaviors from strangers either.  They are learning it from parents who have started the cycles.  Apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree right?

August 10th, 2011

Arnold Teaches Parents What NOT to Do in a Divorce

The Govornator… sigh …

Photo credit: TMZ

Thank you for teaching parents exactly what not to do when you are in the middle of a divorce, especially a high profile divorce, which involves a couple children who are old enough to read the headlines and know what is going on!

But this is not just something that we see with celebrities, as divorce can truly bring out the nasty in people, whether warrented or not.  But the biggest problem is the children that are involved in these situations.

Why? Because then they are pinned in between two parents they typically love very much. They become the middle ground, and many parents… not all but many use them as a outlet or medium to essentially talk shit about the other parent.

And this is a problem… no matter what the age of the children involved. Younger children will typically start to take sides, and as time goes on they are raised in such a manner that they begin to hate or really dislike the parent they are not with the majority of the time.

While I am not the product of a divorced home, or a divorcee myself, I have seen it happen, and I am starting to see it among peers.  And while some of the parents deserve a verbal thrashing… it should never be in children.

When you have teens and older adolescent children, like douche bag of the year Schwarzenegger, it puts the children in a seriously uncomfortable situation. No child wants to see their parents fight… it makes all of us, even as adults very uncomfortable.

I think it is time for adults, and parents to start putting more of an emphasis on minding what we say around children in general… not just our own either.   Kids absorb what we say and do, and a t-shirt like the doucheanator will be firmly implanted in the minds of his children, good or bad.

August 9th, 2011

Back to School? Welcome To A New Realm of Parenting!

Welcome to a whole new realm of parenting… SCHOOL!

I am having some serious mixed feelings about the upcoming back to school season. But mainly because this year, I have a list of shit I need, and an almost 4 year old who will be starting real school this year.  Not just a day or two a week at an at home daycare with a friend of mine, and the three kids she watches during the day.

First what is freaking me out is the fact that I have a pre-schooler.  When the fuck did he get this old?   Since when is he actually old enough, potty trained, and ready to leave the nest. I cannot remember when he grew up, it seems like yesterday we were just bringing our first baby home from the hospital and now we are shopping for big boy shoes and backpacks.

Second, I had a hellish experience when it came to registering Camden for pre-school with the first school we all  fell in love with. My mistake?  Involving him in the school process with this specific school before everything was written in stone.  Because in the end, they gave his slot away to another child that was on the waiting list.  It was an incredibly long story, but after the argument I had with them, I wouldn’t want my child going there, and you can bet every parent I come in contact in my town… you bet your ass I will let them know what kind of people they are dealing with in that rag bag outfit!

Third… The list of shit we need. And to my understanding it is only going to get worse as he gets older, and the other kids go to school also.  Because Ben won’t be much further behind him since they are only 17 months apart in age.   I mean, its not like we are going to college here… it is pre-school.   That also doesn’t include the fact that there are no free pre-school programs our family qualifies in the area… Well let me re-phrase that. There is one, that had a 62 child waiting list in FEBRUARY because it is the only one in the entire town.   What a joke!
So we are also footing the tuition bill. Something I didn’t think I would be footing till he was in college.

For the price we are paying, they should be providing all the supplies we need!

Overall… Wow!   I am just in shock… Pre-School… Hell I remember when I was in pre-school a whole 22 years ago. Whoa!

My little baby boy is growing up, and now I get to take on the whole being a parent to a child in SCHOOL!

August 7th, 2011

The Demon of Postpartum Depression

With my two oldest children, I had postpartum depression. But it was by far the worst after my second son. The combination of a 26 hour long failed VBAC attempt, the weight of failure on my shoulders, a baby intolerant of breast milk that cried for hours, oh and a side of three hospitalization in two weeks starting when he was 4 weeks old was a recipe for disaster.

And a disaster it was. I say to this day… if my husband (who saved my sanity and probably my life) wasn’t laid off during the time Ben joined our family, I don’t think I would have made it through the deep depression I sank into.

Looking back on it I feel like a failure of a mother. And I am talking about this today not to try and make myself feel better about it, but to let other mothers out there know that postpartum depression can, and does happen to anyone, and there is no shame in your battle.    You are not a bad mom because of it, no matter how badly you may feel.

The first months after Ben was born turned into a blur for me. A blur of e-mails with support groups that only made me feel worse. A blur of long days in my dark bedroom.   A blur of hurtful words I could never take back to my family including my children.  And just the thought of it today makes me cry. What sends me over the edge till this day is the memory of holding my crying infant son, the crying that sent me over the edge… and saying three words I will never be able to take back, in that dark hour.

I hate you.

Three words I didn’t comprehend the meaning of in my state. Three words I would never have said, or thought of saying in my state. Three words that will haunt me every day of my life even knowing the depth of my love for my youngest son.

Postpartum depression is a demon. A dark cloud. A horrible disease that turns even the most loving mother into the biggest nightmare for her own family. And it happens more than anyone wants to talk about because of the way society treats any type of mental illness.

Why am I blogging about this?  For sure it will give internet trolls more ammunition to harass me about right?   I don’t care anymore. I am blogging his today for all those mothers who take a look at their life like I did, and realize there is a problem. Realize they need help. Realize they have postpartum depression.

If I can help just one mother who is in the same boat that I was two years ago… it makes all the backhanded insults on the internet by faceless cowards worth it.

Postpartum depression is real, and if you feel like you are even getting a hint of it, talk to your provider about it, and if they can’t help you… they can refer you to someone who can.  Don’t hide it, don’t try and handle it on your own… there is no shame in getting help!

Two years later, looking back on it all… I never hated my son, I hated myself in that state, and I still hate the way I  was in those days. But I bet you I would hate myself even more now if I never got help.

August 5th, 2011

Child Leashes

Leashes on children… seriously who uses them?

**Raises Hand!** I do!

Although I prefer to call it a harness, or the Monkey Backpack as all the children have known it, we use them, and I am not a lazy parent like most automatically assume when you use them.

A couple months ago I read a post somewhere about parents who use these leash contraptions being lazy and not able to control their children, and that couldn’t be any further from the truth.

We first started using our monkey backpack when my oldest was starting to walk, and wanting more freedom. He was no longer interested in sitting in the stroller at all, and depending on which parent was with him it was near impossible to walk around holding his hand at all times. Especially for my towering husband who is over 6 feet tall. Bending over constantly to hold onto his little two foot four hand was a back problem in the making.  For me, I often had a newborn strapped to me, or in my arms.   So it seemed like a simple enough solution.

I mean, look at the picture, doesn’t the kid look happy?  He isn’t abused, he isn’t pissed… in fact he loved that damn thing and would insist on wearing it almost everywhere we went!

This is just another one of those parenting issues, or debates that critics should just simply keep their opinions to themselves, and move along.  If using the child harnesses actually work for one family… so what?  If you don’t like them, or don’t want to use them… DONT!   Isn’t that what adults typically do?  Something isn’t for you so you just avoid it right?   Why is that so damn hard when it comes to freaking parenting choices?

One of the best encounters I have had regarding these child leashes was a woman on Cafemom. Yup, because we know their forums are always full of real gems!  She was pregnant, with her first child… mid 20ish weeks… so not even into the third trimester hell of it all, and she was bashing moms who have used them.  Well the first group of moms she pissed off were the ones with disabled children who thrived on the leashes, the second group she pissed off was the moms who actually have toddlers and have used them because clearly this girl criticizing parents when she wasn’t even at that stage of parenting yet was… foolish in the least.  And third… third was the moms who never used them, but had children and thought she was incredibly naive.

I wonder how she is fairing with motherhood now, and I am almost tempted to check in with her in another 2 years to see if her opinion on those horrible contraptions actually changed.

Again… What works for someone else, doesn’t need to work for you to make it acceptable!
Simply mind your own business!

August 4th, 2011

Accomplishment of the Month

We all have one of those disgustingly long to do lists right?   I have started to come to terms with the fact that… three kids = everything on my list is not going to get done in a timely manner. And I am ok with that!   Rome wasn’t built in a day right?  As long as my kids are healthy, clean, and taken care of I am not going to worry about the extra little above and beyond most stress about.

But I really wanted to start working on a big accomplishment of the month, I think it is a way to spread out those larger projects over an acceptable period of time.  Whether it is renovations around the house, or simply organizing something like I talked about last week with Clutter Clutter Everywhere post.

Some of the stuff I want to do… of course complete all the things I put on there, but I also want to re-vamp this website. I think I have grown out of Momotics, and I write about so many other things besides just the politics of parenting, and I feel like I am stuck in a rut.  With the help of my fantastic webmaster Sarah, I am going to do some major renovations. I am still trying to decide which .com address I am going to purchase, but whatever it is, momotics.com will automatically re-direct to the site when we make the change.   I promise!

I really think that is the first project I am going to take on!

Do you manage your larger accomplishments in this manner?

August 3rd, 2011

New Legislation Causes More Harm on Young Girls…

What is with all this new anti-abortion legislation?  For real!   In the past 2 years, the amount of American citizens that approve of legal abortion has increased while the number of legislators trying to decrease abortion options increase along side these numbers.  It is almost unreal to see in 2011.

But now we have some new legislation that would impact young girls all over the country.

“This week Senators Marco Rubio and Orrin Hatch introduced the Child Interstate Abortion Notification Act (CIANA), which would make it a crime to take a teen across state lines to obtain an abortion if she’s trying to evade parental notification laws in her home state” – Jezebel.com

While this may sound like a good idea to a lot of people, when we break down the logistics of the law, it is essentially going to harm more young girls than help. But why?

It would also require doctors performing abortions on out-of-state minors to notify the parents. The Senators say this will ensure state laws are being enforced. In actuality, it would put new hardships on teens in difficult situations. – Jezebel.com

As parents we always want to assume the best of other parents right?  We don’t want to think that some of these young girls may be abused by family members, or live in the kind of household that anti-abortion advocates for parents would actually force their 13 year old daughter to gestate against her will, or even force her into an adoption situation.  But it happens…

Yes, there are options of these girls going in front of a judge in their home state to get around the parental notification laws, but how realistic is that?   Missing school, travel arrangements to the court and so on.  I am sure parents would figure something was up on their own just by the missing child… if the school didn’t call home of course.

While the legislators in this situation just want to paint these young girls as skanks that simply aren’t interested in involving their parents in the choice of what to do with their unplanned and unwanted pregnancy… studies show the complete opposite.

In reality, studies have shown that 74% of 15-year-olds tell their parents they’re getting an abortion and more than half of those who don’t say they’re afraid of abuse or eviction.  – Jezebel.com

Something these young girls should never be faced with.

Then there is the dangerous chance that these same young girls who are afraid of what their parents might do could take matters into their own hands. By having boyfriends throw them down stairs, punch them in the stomach, or perform some type of at home abortion… which may or may not work and cause far more harm than good.

Think that doesn’t happen either?  Don’t think you have heard what has come out of the mouth’s of some of the teens I have encountered in the past year. Overhearing conversations in the family planning aisle at the local drug store about helping each other take care of things so they don’t have to go to the Doctor or talk to their parents.

Yes, for real.

Abortion has been legal for decades, and it makes me so upset as the mother of a little girl now to see all these new restrictions popping up across the country. The system isn’t broke, it doesn’t need fixing… it has worked perfectly fine since 1973 for those who make the choice to utilize it.

Just another example of American legislators trying to impose their personal beliefs, and religion backed ideals on the general public.

August 2nd, 2011

Updating Life

It has been a complete whirlwind of a weekend for me. I got some bad news, well… bad is really the happy rainbows and puppies term, but I will leave it at that.  But I wanted to really write a post to all my readers and ask you to bare with through a tough time.

On top of bad news, I got amazingly good news, and while it slightly balances things out… it will all be hard to keep up with.

I said a while back there was a new project I was going to be working on… and after a couple bumps in the road, I am going to be blogging full time on Toddler Times at Babble, on top of writing for Baby’s First Year… How exciting is that?!

Thanks to everyone here, and on twitter for your thoughts and prayers during this time… And join me over for happier posts on Babble

August 1st, 2011

Nope! I Don’t Work for Free! When PR Pitches Turn Bad…

There is a new epidemic among the blogging community, and that is bloggers that will work for free, or sell their soul to a company for a free $3.99 sippy cup…

Now, before I get started, I am not saying that reviewing products on your website is a bad thing, because it isn’t. But the key to reviews is being honest. If that $3.99 sippy cup leaks, talk about it, don’t sweep it under the rug for fear this company will blacklist you.  Little do you know, other bloggers may blacklist you for your shining review of a shitty product.

Another catch is the constant requests for quest blogging, or helping other companies out. Will you write x,y, or z for our company and we will give you a tag line at the bottom of your post that links to your website… Would you work an entire day at a job just for a shout out?
Didn’t think so!

Bloggers!  Stop selling yourself short!  You are worth something, and you shouldn’t be selling yourselves short.  If you are working for these companies, they damn well better be paying you for your time.   The problem with some bloggers working for free, is these companies not only is showing companies Mom bloggers, and bloggers in general can be bought with simple products that cost them a whole .15 cents to make in China, but that we don’t really value our work, or our time!

Come on Moms… you all know what our days look like, busy, insane, slightly nerve wracking… filled with being a professional taxi cab service, and demands from tyrant toddlers for snacks, so when you sit down to work or blog, or whatever you consider your writing to be… whether it is an out for you, something you enjoy, or something you do for an actual income… you need to put a value on it.

If you are contracted to write a post, put a price on it… start lower, and work your way up. Freelance for some local newspapers or publications to see their going rate is for freelance writers. Some start as low as $10, but some start all the way at $50 depending on the length and content.

Believe it or not, there are some companies out there that will pay you upwards of $200 for a post, or feature. And if blogging is something you wish to do as an actual job, start to value yourself more!

Of course not all bloggers out there are interested in making money, some do it just for fun or as a pass time. That is fine!  As long as you love what you are doing, that is all that should matter right?

Remember… value yourself!   Don’t put a product price tag on your reputation!

As for the growing number of PR firms contacting bloggers to write reviews, or even contacting you after you write about a product you have had a good or bad experience with… if a blogger doesn’t like your product or had a bad experience about it, contacting them and asking them to write something positive isn’t going to work, in fact it probably is just going to piss them off a little more than they already are.

Maybe starting with an apology, or asking them what happened is the place to start… not sending them a three page copy and pasted email about the product that they don’t care for. Or why that company is on their shit list.

And sending the same email 4 times when you don’t get a reply isn’t going to do any justice either.

Bloggers have a large reach, especially Mom Bloggers, so the last person you want to send a bad PR pitch to is them!   Honestly, I think the two groups most critical of these pitches are the Mom Bloggers, and those who actually work in the social media field!

Think before you click send!