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When I was at the mall with my children the other night, I started to come to a realization about the innocence of our toddlers.  They really have so many lessons they can teach us as adults.

They are fearless, friendly, and have no type of prejudice at all. It is something they learn, and experience as they grow and are truly exposed to the world around them. Whether it is their parents, other kids at school or strangers they encounter as they grow.

READ MORE HERE

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My mother called me last night and told me her ex-husband and son would be staying at the hospital for the night because really we didn’t think she would make it through the night.  So I went up to the hospital and stayed late.  I fell asleep in a chair next to her bed, holding her hand with my head on the rail of the bed.   My breast milk stash I had in the freezer is gone. I used the last bag over the weekend when I was spending hours at the hospital as my husband could sit with the kids.

I feel like every time I am with my sister, I am neglecting the kids whether they are with a babysitter, or my husband. And when I am with the kids, I feel like I am missing the little bit of time I have left with my sister.  I am damned if I do, and damned if I don’t.  There is no easy way around any of it.

Keeping myself busy is the only way to keep my mind off of everything when I can’t be at the hospital at her side. Sunday when I had to come home, once the baby was fed, and back to sleep I literally washed the walls in my kitchen. Something I would never willingly do, or take time to bother with.  Yeah it has to be done, but not something I would ever take on during a Sunday afternoon when I have time that the kids are behaving.

We have all been taking shifts at the hospital so she is never alone. There is always someone with her.  Holding her hand, or laying with her in her bed comforting her and letting her know everything is ok.

I typically am not the most Godly person, but I have been in the chapel every day and last night we had the Priest in the hospital come up and pray with us.  It is what she wants, she keeps talking about the angels, and how she is going to be an angel. I told her she is going to be the best damn angel Heaven has EVER seen.

No one ever thinks their 40 year old sister is going to get a brain infection and die. EVER.

It is simply something you can never plan for. And it hurts.

Writing a bit here and there is the only way to help me get some of my emotions out.

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Toys have changed so drastically, just in the past 20 years.  I can remember so many cool things I played with in the 80′s and 90′s as I was growing up, and I have to admit looking back I think they were really the coolest toys out there.

I mean seriously treasure trolls?  Strawberry Shortcake?  Alphie!   It didn’t get any better. And we were never bored either!

READ MORE HERE

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Part Pigpen and part Linus… this is my two year old. He is obsessed with his blankies… two fleece blankets that he has had since he was born.

He likes to drag it around the backyard while playing, he needs it to sleep, wants to take it on car rides… oh and he chews on it too… I mean, what isn’t tasty about a raggedy old fleece blanket that is only washed once a month right?   Ick!

READ MORE AT TODDLER TIMES

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Addie is drooling up a storm, putting everything in her mouth, and just is not herself because of the discomfort!   It kills me to see her crabby so I have been doing anything in my power to help her be more comfortable and get over this whole teething episode.  At least this time around!

Read More over at Baby’s First Year

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That is her in the background of the photo. I was cutting my shower cake, a shower she had put together with little help being incredibly sick, but not letting it on to anyone because it was something she wanted to do for me since she wasn’t able to put my shower together when I was pregnant with my oldest son.

The saga really started long ago, and without going into details, which I refuse to do because it is not my story to tell, she became terminally ill. For a long time she was doing great, in between her divorce, finding new love, and having a healthy and beautiful little boy only 4 short months after my oldest son was born. Jake is 3 now, and doing great.

And this brings me to why I have been quiet and really only keeping up with my blogs on Babble.com which is actually my job.

My sister is dying.
I am in charge of her care from dealing with insurance companies, to talking to doctors and making medical decisions.

In reality, it should have been my mother, but because of life and what it has thrown my mothers way, and really not being able to be stone faced, and take charge when she is watching her daughter in the end stages of her life, I stepped up to the plate.  My sister has always been my world.  She has been my rock. She has been by my side through break ups, moves, and anytime I needed anything. And now I repay her in the only way I can.

It is hard, and there are nights I just sit down and cry, like last night.   I break down and I scream. I yell at God or whoever is up there and tell them I am SICK of telling my kids all their aunts and uncles are in heaven, or going to heaven.

I am sick of it… I am pissed… I am angry… I am sad… I am heartbroken… I am so many different things I could never actually write or describe every word that comes through my mind.

I wish I could just purge everything in my mind onto my blog sometimes, but there is just such a fine line when it comes to privacy and the internet and I have learned when you truly open up to those you find to be friends, or a support system… a new internet troll pops up with vicious ammo.   Not something I will give them, especially over something so sensitive.

So bare with me… My mind is mush… My time is taken… and the biggest thing getting neglected is this site.

If you pray… or whatever you do… Keep us in those prayers

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But we all know I can put together a bad ass twitter party and that is how we are going to be officially “launching” the Trendiest Kids on the Blog site!

The list of prizes is unreal!

We got stuff from some of my favorite companies including MomAgenda, Cloud B, Rosenberry Rooms, Valco Baby, and Phil&Teds just to include a few!  All total, we have over $1450 of prizes you can win!

Be sure to follow this link to the full post about the twitter party, which includes all the prizes, and how you can RSVP!

September 18th, 9pm EST  #TKOTB    Be there or be square!

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Well going back over a year ago to the 2010 BlogHer conference, I became the Wine Fairy.   I am not really sure how exactly it happened as the Saturday night of the conference really was busy, loud, tiring, and influenced by the drink tickets I had kept to myself to have a good time. It was the end of the conference, I was all business until the parties went into full effect.

I had received a generous offer from the Wine Sisterhood to host a wine tasting party in my room, which kind of tanked when most of the people who had RSVP’ed for the party decided not to come.   It happens, it is a busy conference, and I didn’t realize exactly how busy it would be because it was my first year attending.

With several bottles of wine, only two roommates, and tickets to some parties… I took one of the bottles in my purse and headed on my way.

But I still wanted to be able to share the different kinds and varieties of wine with the attendees of the conference. So as I went from party to party, and ball room to ball room I would stop and offer ladies some wine. If they were sitting enjoying some drinks at a table, walking with an empty glass… whatever…

Then I stumbled across the most fun table of the night, looking back I think there were 6 ladies sitting there, one of them being the hysterical Awesomely Luvvie who actually was a speaker at the conference!  Mind you, to this day, I am still buddies with her and we frequently chat.

When we had such a good time downstairs, we all went back to my room and finished up the other bottles of wine I was waiting to distribute amongst the conference.

Thus they dubbed me The Wine Fairy!

A title I still wear to this day proudly!  There is nothing wrong with having a little fun as an adult, especially when you have a little bit of time away from your children, even if it is for business.  The Wine Fairy made me a couple amazing friends that I love dearly!

I want to thank The Wine Sisterhood again a year after the fact for the amazing wine they provided us that weekend!

The Wine Sisterhood provided the wine free of charge, but all opinions, and reviews are my 100% expressed honest opinion. I did not receive any compensation for this post.

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Needless to say, I am glad we did. Our neighborhood is a war zone. Trees, wires, and all kinds of stuff down and blocking the roads everywhere.  The power, phone, cable, and internet are all down at our home, and thankfully we didn’t lose any of that just a mile down the road at the fire house.

Although it has been an interesting evening.

The boys didn’t go to bed till after midnight because of all the excitement, being at the fire house, and actually being able to sleep a room over from the fire trucks.

Addie wasn’t a happy camper that she was in a different place than she is used to.

And my husband and I had to share a single bed in the firemen bunk room, he is 6’2 and I am a bed hog.  Needless to say my neck hurts, I woke up with a headache, after about 3 hours of sleep and my day can just be described as… ugh.

Although I am happy we are all safe!

I am kind of worried to see the damage I will face when we make our way home later…

Oh, and how great this picture from last night?

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