From Exclusive Breastfeeder to Formula Feeder

I never thought I would find myself writing something with this title. But, then again no one ever really knows what parenthood is going to throw them either huh?

With the birth of my first child, I had a rocky but successful breastfeeding relationship. He thrived, although he was “small” for his size and there was often panic about his weight gain at out old pediatrician. Come to find out, he is just going to be small like his mother. I am no giant, standing at 4 foot 10 inches short. But it didn’t help my mom worry or the trips to the lactation consultant that drained out bank account. But in the end, it was all well worth it.

Then I had my second child. Breastfeeding was going well, things were flowing in the hospital despite having a second c-section, and when we got home, that is when it started to get bumpy. I think it was because Ben’s body really started to get milk, and digest. I started to think there was something seriously wrong. He was born at 7 pounds 3 oz and when we went to our first pediatricians appointment post birth, they told me he was 5 pounds 12 oz. I was floored, there was NO way he could be this small. They immediately scheduled a follow up weigh in for one week and said if he had not gained back up to at least his birth weight, then we would have to have blood work done. Which was something I did not want for my new baby.
The week went by, and I was scared to death the whole time. My baby was eating, he seemed to be getting enough, but he would CRY for hours on end.
I in turn adjusted my diet, and then adjusted it some more, and adjusted it again. Still wasn’t working. We went back and he was up to 8 pounds, so I was completely convinced that their scale was wrong. But I discussed the fact that he was constantly crying. Really for any parent, especially the parent of an older child who was a perfect angel, the amount of crying would have been alarming.
Heck it scared the crap out of our family members too!

I continued to adjust my diet, to the point where I got down to a hand full of foods I was living on. 4 to get even more specific. I was miserable, and Ben was still miserable.

I broke down one night, after trying everything I could think of from cluster feeding, to nursing all day, letting him use me as a pacifier, burping him constantly, we tried everything. I sent my husband to the store for a can of formula. And we all slept that night. I woke up constantly thinking my baby was dead. Making sure he was still breathing. I was sure the evil formula did something to him!!!!

The next day it was back to the screaming, so I sent my husband back out to get a different kind of formula. No go again. Back to breastfeeding.
And in a last ditch effort, we called our local WIC office, who also has great breastfeeding support, and I told the woman there what was going on. She suggested one of the formulas that WIC actually gave out.
I again sent my husband to the store, third time is a charm right?

That night again, peace and quiet.
Could it be? Did we figure this boy child out?

Nearly 6 months after this all started, we can sleep at night, make it through the day without screaming for hours on end, and the only way it happened was switching him onto formula. I never though I would say I am thankful for formula, but if I was still listening to that screaming today, I would be in a nut house, not home with my children.

Sometimes…. just sometimes… it is a necessary evil.
Of course breast is best, and no matter what anyone says, it is. There is no questioning it.

Next baby, I hope we can get back on track with Breastfeeding.
That is for sure!

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12 comments

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1

By: Faedemere

Did you ever figure out why your milk was causing him trouble? And what kind of formula (ingredients were they cow's milk, soy, ??) ended up working?

2

By: Danielle

We still to this day have no idea why he reacted the way he did to my milk. We now have him on Good Start Gentle Tummies and it works. We tried every brand and this is the only one he seems to tolerate well.

3

By: Mamma

ohhh man that sucks, but u gotta do what u gotta do!

4

By: FC Mom

I am a very committed breastfeeder, but I would not say that non-breastfeeders are giving their children something evil. Maybe you were kidding, but word choice means a lot! I feel like saying formula is “evil” is why people feel like they have to call lactivists “breastfeeding Nazis” – no one wants to feel judged, and when they do feel judged, they react with judgment right back. Overall, I know what you mean- most people in an ideal world could breastfeed for a full year or more, and it sucks that we all can't, whether finances force us to go back to work when we'd rather stay home, or when baby has a mysterious health issue… And I know your main point was that you felt badly for giving your baby formula. I'd feel the same way if that happens with my next one, or if I can't pump enough when I go back to work in 2 weeks. I’m sorry you and baby had to go through that, but glad he got better, no matter what it took! I love your overall message- you never know what parenting and your kid are gonna throw at you.

5

By: thirdy_smom

Hi Danielle,I feel the same way.I had trouble breastfeeding too. I was never ever able to breastfeed my little boy. He missed the first few drops which they said is the most nutritious of all. I don't know what was wrong with me or my milk. Or is it because I lack the knowledge. I continue to blame myself for not nursing him. He's a bit small compared to other babies his age. I feel bad giving my son formula.

6

By: Michelle

I called into your show last night (Michelle) and since I had that terrible infection and could only pump while my baby was in the NICU, my milk never came in. I was able to nurse her for 4 weeks while supplementing formula until I had to go to 100 percent formula. It broke my heart, but as my LLL friend has assured me – you didn't "just feed her for 4 weeks" you SUCCESSFULLY fed her for 4 amazing weeks. I thought the perspective and how the way you look at things can make accepting them a little bit easier.

7

By: Alison Trainer

Thank you for sharing your story. It's so important that women make every effort possible, but when all possibilities are exhausted, if they have to formula feed, no one should feel guilty about it. I'm glad you shared your story, so other moms in similar situations can know that they aren't alone, and that they shouldn't feel bad about it.

9

By: Natalie @ Naddy's Blog Twitter: @babywearingitup

This is almost exactly what happened to a close friend of mine! She was deeply saddened… and I am sure will try again next time…but after all, the baby is happy and fed.
.-= Natalie @ Naddy’s Blog´s last blog ..Learning Together =-.

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