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Motherhood Made Me MORE Pro-Choice
For any of you who have been around since I was pregnant with my oldest son
, you would know that my pregnancy was no walk in the park. From the very get go, I was in and out of the hospital repeatedly with dehydration, pre-term labor, kidney stones, and various other complications related to a cervical surgery I had in 2003 when I was 18 years old. Needless to say, my journey into motherhood, especially that pregnancy helped to re-shape my pro choice views.
As a teen, I talked with amazingly close family members about pregnancy before Roe V. Wade, teen mothers in my family who were whisked off to other states, married off, and forced to bear children that would have otherwise been unwanted. The women I love and respect never pulled any punches with me. And it certainly helped to shape me into the most liberal pro choice woman I probably could be. While others in my family had children and became pro life, or at least pro life for their selves, my views continues to become increasingly pro choice during each of my pregnancies, and birth experiences, especially with my oldest.
I want to explain my line of thinking further.
I believe in choices. Choices in childbirth, pregnancy, reproduction in general, parenting choices, lifestyle choices. Choice… all around choice.
My difficult pregnancy made me realize that women should never be forced into a choice, like pregnancy and childbirth, unless it is something they truly want, are prepared for, and consent to. On a sidenote, consenting to sex is not consenting to pregnancy. I cannot imagine being forced to go through the ups and downs, emotions, mood swings, physical changes, swollen ankles, aches and pains, contractions, birth, especially surgical birth, when a woman did not wish to be involved in any of it from the get go.
Not only could it be mentally damaging, it could shape her view of children in general for the rest of her life.
Of course women that make the rash decision to abort before she has fully examined all of her options, and made an informed choice could really feel the same way, but that is another post in itself. Because I care about all women, not just those who agree with me.
Moral of this story? While I was pro choice before, I am even more pro choice now, as a mother, by choice, of two amazing little boys, and of course more children in the future by choice.
Shout out to all my pro choice moms!
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Becoming a mother made me realize just how difficult this “job” is, and how NO ONE should be forced into it against their will. Children are not meant to be a punishment in any way,m shape or form. I wish abortions didn’t have to happen, but we live in a world that, sadly, makes them a necessary evil for many reasons. Women deserve the right to make their own decisions about their reproduction, along all steps of the way.
Marcy´s last [type] ..Oh right- theres a person growing in my belly
I just had an adoption. I was fully aware that sex could create a pregnancy, and since it was a breeze for me, why throw away a perfectly good baby?
I am Pro-choice because I don’t want 14 year old girls trying to do it themselves out of desperation, not because I like abortion.
I completely agree with you! I think there needs to be way more sex education focused on preventing pregnancy instead of the abstinence only education telling our young people just simply not to do it. It isn’t working, and the teen pregnancy rates are climbing.
Everyone should be free to make their own choices, adoption included.
Which is why I am pro choice, all choices. Some women cannot mentally, emotionally, or physical deal with adoption, and I respect that.
My pregnancy was actually what made me question my pro-choice beliefs. It was hard for me to reconcile abortion with seeing the sonograms of my children growing. But then I had them and I realized how hard this job is and how much everything I do affects the growth of children. No one should be forced into this job and every child should be wanted.
Kate, aka guavalicious´s last [type] ..The Pitfalls of Magic Saliva
I’m always pro choice when it comes to everything. I never believed anyone ever had the right to tell anyone else what they should do, what they can and can’t say or how they should feel.
Doreen Lombardo´s last [type] ..Thankful Thursday
Becoming a mother made me feel strongly in both directions. Mostly it just reinforced the sentiment that motherhood should not be forced upon anyone that is not yet fully prepared. I agree with you 100%
I’ve always been pro-choice and proud of it. Being pregnant has led me to question my beliefs, which I think is a great thing. You should always be able to look inside and be comfortable that you believe what you believe for a reason, not just because that’s the way you were raised or that’s the way other people around you think.
Just because I’m pro-choice doesn’t mean I’m pro-abortion. I’m surprised just how many people don’t understand that distinction.
I also firmly believe that it’s not the government’s place to decide what we can or cannot do with our bodies.
I’m 40 weeks today, and happy to say I’m still very pro-choice 
Jen´s last [type] ..The End Is In Sight!
This is something I don’t talk about very often, because a lot of friends and family are pro-life, and I don’t want to be the one to cause a stir, but:
I am also pro-choice.
I think every woman should have a choice when it comes to their body, their life, and their personal decisions. I know I would never choose abortion, but if someone else does, I would not going to think badly about them because of it. I know that is not the only side of the argument, but it’s the one that people focus on. Not *my* choice, but sometimes it is the choice for others.
AWESOME!!!!
Deb´s last [type] ..Children of Teen Mothers Have a Higher Risk of Negative Consequences
Great post Danielle! Pregnancy and childbirth are hard, and you’re right, it should be up to a woman to decide whether or not she wants to commit to such choices.
Old School/New School Mom´s last [type] ..With This Ring I Thee Wed
As I read this discussion, I can’t stop thinking about my youngest son, Christopher. At 7 months old, he is so beautiful and full of life. Every time he smiles he lights up the room, and my life.
During pregnancy, I remember looking up photos of fetal development on the web, wondering what my baby looked like. By week 10, Christopher had well-formed arms, legs, fingers, and toes. The websites said he could move his limbs, open his mouth; he could even swim! They said his brain had been active for at least 6 weeks. By 10 weeks, he could respond to touch.
The CDC says the average gestational age for abortion in the US is around 10 weeks. The most common abortion procedure at this stage is vacuum aspiration, where a tube is used to suck the fetus from the womb. The procedure kills the fetus by tearing it apart.
When I think about this procedure, and then think about my son Christopher, it makes me shudder. It’s simply horrible to imagine him, or any child, going through an abortion.
I hear that many women choose abortion because they think it’s the best solution to an unwanted pregnancy. If these women really understood what abortion does to their child, would they still make this choice? Which is worse- enduring an unwanted pregnancy, or living the rest of your life knowing that you aborted your own child?
Multiple studies have linked abortion with clinical depression and worse. While many women don’t suffer a lot of ill-effects after an abortion, I can’t help but wonder if they simply block out the reality of what abortion did to their child. That’s not to say that every post-abortive woman is destined to suffer the rest of her life. I know some women who have found forgiveness and healing through their Christian faith. They love to hold my son Christopher and see him smile. Deep inside, they know that their child would have been just as beautiful.
Shawn, first off, how many times have you been pregnant or given birth?
Second, your information on a fetus responding to touch by 10 weeks is inaccurate, and it has not been documented by any reputable medical organization. Although many pro life, anti-abortion propaganda websites have listed this.
Last, the most recent research on abortion and depression have proven the older studies which linked abortion to depression were not accurate, in fact one came out this past month, and it also compared the amount of depression after giving birth, as well as trauma after giving birth to abortions, showing more women are traumatized by childbirth, than abortion.
I don’t care what your religion is… this is MY opinion. I am currently almost 27 weeks pregnant with my third, and very much unplanned but WANTED child, and I would never force anyone into a choice I thought was right for them.
You mind your own business and don’t try and force someone into a choice you would make. Simple as that!
I have always been pro-choice since I was old enough to understand the issue, and was lucky enough in my life never to have experienced an unwanted pregnancy. Now, at the age of 35, I am pregnant for the first time and I whole-heartedly agree with the poster that no woman should be forced to be pregnant when she doesn’t want to be. I am 33 weeks along and this has been the most difficult thing I have ever done physically. It has taken a huge toll on my body and honestly has sucked big time. I hate being pregnant! I’m doing it because I am ready and want to be a mom, but if I were not ready and did not want to be a mom, being pregnant would be like constantly being tortured for nine months. Nausea, back pain, lack of sleep, heartburn, rib cage pain, shortness of breath, urinary tract infections, having to pee every 15 minutes, not to mention crazy mood swings(I don’t have to list the symptoms for all you moms out there — you know).
Prior to being pregnant I was lucky to be one of the healthiest people I know. I never had any kind of sickness or symptoms and got used to living a healthy, happy life. Now it’s just one thing to deal with after another and pains in places I didn’t know existed. Ugh. And I haven’t even had anywhere near as bad a pregnancy as some women, but it has been REALLY really difficult, mentally and physically.
Of course, abortion is not ideal — sex education and unwanted pregnancy prevention should be the focus, but for goodness sake, any woman who finds herself pregnant when she doesn’t want to be should be allowed to get out of it. Being pregnant is SO DIFFICULT no woman should have to do it unless she really wants to. Now that I have personal experience being pregnant I feel I have earned the right to say this, and I will always be pro-choice for myself and for my daughter.
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