Tuesday night I wrote about the new shittastic Lifetime show “One Born Every Minute” which should have been re-named “Danielle Throwing Something at the TV Every Minute” I am sure most of my readers here sat and watched me live tweet during the premier on Tuesday night under the #OneBornEveryMinute. Needless to day, it was just another modern trainwreck of a birth show. It kind of made Birth Day, and A Baby Story look natural birth friendly.
But I think my shock came in the days following. Not from Lifetime, or from other bloggers writing about the show itself, but from pregnant women on my due date month board on none other but Cafemom. I have seen a couple real gems come out of this group, one being the pregnant woman with no children criticizing other parenting styles, and ways parents choose to control their children. But that is a tale for another day.
I asked everyone what they thought about One Born Every Minute, which I blogged my full reaction on Babble. Just a couple short quotes from my reaction:
“The show is meant to show the in’s and out’s of labor and delivery today, and I think they very accurately depicted childbirth in hospitals today. From epidurals, to pitocin in most births, extreme emphasis on pain, a c-section, and of course the couple with a birth plan, and a doula made to look like some kind of loony bin.”
“I think what really got me about it, more so than anything, was when the mother denied a vaginal check, the nurse was actually mad and complained about it to others after she repeatedly pushed the suggestion on the couple being denied each time. The mother wanted her midwife to check her, that was it, and of course that was her right.”
But realistically, when you look at the full reaction, you will understand why the show was really that bad.
My jaw didn’t really hit my keyboard till today when I started trying to see what some of the other mothers who are pregnant with me had to say, and it seems like everyone wanted to point the disgust finger at the couple who actually wanted a natural birth, and worked towards it in a hospital setting.
“AND the hippy couple drove me nuts.”
While the parents called themselves free spirits, they certainly weren’t something or someone I would be calling hippies by any means. Especially making the first choice to birth in a hospital. They were a clean cut couple, without any real classic hippy traits. But believe me… it got worse!
“Yes I found it hysterical! But I was upset with the one couple who seemed to have it out for the nurse the whole time.”
The same nurse that was confrontational, made fun of the couple every time she walked out of the room to other hospital staff, and continued to push things like unwanted vaginal checks? In fact… the doula from the episode last night stopped by the post by The Feminist Breeder yesterday, and even commented about Pam the nurse in question.
Doula Jen said herself:
“She had a Foley induction, and her body took over from there. This couple had two really great nurses before nurse Pam, and another great one after her…they were all positive, encouraging and happy to work with the couple. It was really sad that none of that was shown, only the strife with nurse Pam. From the minute she walked into their room, it was tense relations. Nurse Pam was only there for 6 hours of the entire 24 hour birth. So while she was a hurdle for the couple to work through, she did not represent the care giving from other members of the Riverside nursing staff. I usually have great nurse relations, but this was just one of those times when nothing any of us did/said helped smooth the situation.”
More proof that the Lifetime Network was just editing for dramatic effect, but with reality TV, what do we expect?
Just when you think it can’t get any worse… IT DOES!
There was a lot of questions as to why this couple decided on a hospital birth if they were going to be so “combative” towards the hospital staff. While no one knows this for sure, women should choose to give birth where they feel comfortable. Whether it is in a hospital setting, home, in the ocean, or where ever she really feels is best for her. As a mother who desperately wanted a natural birth myself, I still decided I wanted to birth in the hospital. Not only was it a comfort factor for me, it was something my husband and I knew was best for us!
Just because someone wants a natural or hands off delivery, it does not automatically mean it should be a home birth. Home birth simply is not for everyone. And women should not be forced into uncomfortable situations just so they can avoid some pitocin, or a vaginal check.
Natural childbirth should be a valid, and available option inside hospitals, without women feeling like they are cornered or being forced into procedures they do not truly consent to. Unfortunately anyone who has wanted a natural birth in the hospital system in recent years knows that this can be a battle, which is why we need shows like One Born Every Minute to help promote them as acceptable choices… not something that we should be laughing at, mocking, or judging because it is not the main stream way women think about birth being handled.
The judgment from other mothers on those who simply want to be hands off needs to stop. While those choices may not be for you, don’t put down those who are making the best choice for themselves, just like you are doing for yourself.