Posts Tagged ‘birth’

August 7th, 2011

The Demon of Postpartum Depression

With my two oldest children, I had postpartum depression. But it was by far the worst after my second son. The combination of a 26 hour long failed VBAC attempt, the weight of failure on my shoulders, a baby intolerant of breast milk that cried for hours, oh and a side of three hospitalization in two weeks starting when he was 4 weeks old was a recipe for disaster.

And a disaster it was. I say to this day… if my husband (who saved my sanity and probably my life) wasn’t laid off during the time Ben joined our family, I don’t think I would have made it through the deep depression I sank into.

Looking back on it I feel like a failure of a mother. And I am talking about this today not to try and make myself feel better about it, but to let other mothers out there know that postpartum depression can, and does happen to anyone, and there is no shame in your battle.    You are not a bad mom because of it, no matter how badly you may feel.

The first months after Ben was born turned into a blur for me. A blur of e-mails with support groups that only made me feel worse. A blur of long days in my dark bedroom.   A blur of hurtful words I could never take back to my family including my children.  And just the thought of it today makes me cry. What sends me over the edge till this day is the memory of holding my crying infant son, the crying that sent me over the edge… and saying three words I will never be able to take back, in that dark hour.

I hate you.

Three words I didn’t comprehend the meaning of in my state. Three words I would never have said, or thought of saying in my state. Three words that will haunt me every day of my life even knowing the depth of my love for my youngest son.

Postpartum depression is a demon. A dark cloud. A horrible disease that turns even the most loving mother into the biggest nightmare for her own family. And it happens more than anyone wants to talk about because of the way society treats any type of mental illness.

Why am I blogging about this?  For sure it will give internet trolls more ammunition to harass me about right?   I don’t care anymore. I am blogging his today for all those mothers who take a look at their life like I did, and realize there is a problem. Realize they need help. Realize they have postpartum depression.

If I can help just one mother who is in the same boat that I was two years ago… it makes all the backhanded insults on the internet by faceless cowards worth it.

Postpartum depression is real, and if you feel like you are even getting a hint of it, talk to your provider about it, and if they can’t help you… they can refer you to someone who can.  Don’t hide it, don’t try and handle it on your own… there is no shame in getting help!

Two years later, looking back on it all… I never hated my son, I hated myself in that state, and I still hate the way I  was in those days. But I bet you I would hate myself even more now if I never got help.

May 2nd, 2011

Announcing Addison Ann Elwood

Addison Ann Elwood aka Little Miss A was born
Saturday April 30th, at 4:26am
SURPRISE!
She weighed in at a whole 5 pounds and 12 ounces

She is an angel… an awesome baby, an amazing nurser who brought my milk in only 2 and a half days
post c-section, which is very surprising, and she has already started to gain weight back!

My boys came to visit Mommy and meet their little sister, and they are so amazingly in love with her. It is so
heartwarming, and beautiful to see how much they love her already…

I was unable to VBA2C after going into labor on my own after my water broke Friday night. After talking with my midwives
and the OB/GYN after the fact, and knowing she never made it anywhere close to engaged, it made me feel comfortable with the
fact that I was going to go ahead with a scheduled c-section because there was a true medical need for it.

Addison did in fact have intrauterine growth restriction which showed with her birth weight.
She was 38 weeks 5 days at birth, the same as my oldest son, and weighed in two pounds less than him,
as well as two pounds less than my oldest son.
Thankfully she is healthy, and happy, and gaining already, something else unusual for most babies
while in the hospital.
I get to go home on Wednesday, and I cannot wait. I miss my own bed, and my older children!

Who couldn’t miss those faces?

Thank you everyone for all the well wishes and comments, as well as support!

December 11th, 2010

3 Years Ago

Three years ago, I went into the hospital to have my oldest son. While the birth experience was horrid, I have worked over these years to put it behind me and take what I can of the positives and make the goal of moving on. In the back of my head the events of that day will never be forgiven, but I certainly do understand why my providers handled my delivery the way they did… Simple enough?

They didn’t know any better…

Over the past three years, I have learned through the mistake I made of being induced, I have certainly become a different person, more educated, and my son has taught me the most amazing life lessons. First lesson was being a mother. Breastfeeding, diapers, and everything that goes along with motherhood. I think in the past year the biggest lessons he has taught me include patience and tolerance. There are some days I look at him, or something he says and think to myself… what in the hell?  Where did he learn that… OH the fire house…

But no matter what, he is my first born, the love of my life, my clown. He truly takes after his father in the clown department. He is truly an Elwood male!   I can’t imagine my life without him, and every day with him is a huge adventure.

Happy 3rd Birthday Camden! from Danielle Elwood on Vimeo.

October 29th, 2010

Blanket Statements & Childbirth

On twitter, a large portion of my circle  are childbirth professionals, or overall childbirth advocates. Mainly for natural childbirth, and in the past few weeks since having to face the choices I do in birthing my child, I have been becoming increasingly annoyed. Not just on twitter in general either. On facebook, in passing conversation, etc.

I have always stood behind the statement that natural childbirth shouldn’t be scary. Women who are afraid of pain, their vagina ripping open, or other common fears in pregnancy, IMO should think twice about having children… period. But the blanket statement that childbirth is not scary is something I find to be subjective and not accurate. While is should not be something that is scary, there are some women who are scared by it, or scared by a situation surrounding their own birth. My example?  My own birth this time around. It is scary. Very scary.

I know I am going to be going through surgery, a surgery I didn’t like either of the two times I went through it previously. I am striving and trying very hard to make it the most positive experience possible. But it doesn’t change my own fears.

Blanket statements on such a broad topic should truly be looked at twice before used. There are so many more that go into the whole issue I take with it too… I can’t get into all of them because if I did, I would be here all day long.

The judgment around c-sections is upsetting to people who really need them. Through my time as an advocate, especially for VBAC I have always tried actively to be mindful of what I say, because I do realize, especially after my second son’s birth, there are a portion of medically necessary c-sections that take place in our country.

Certainly not 33% but I do believe there is the 5-15% that are necessary. I know there are people that fall into this category, and I know there are people who think they belong in this category because of misinformation. But as a pro choice woman, I cannot tell them that their choice is wrong or judge them for the choice they have made.

Their body… their choice.
The same goes for myself this time around.

I guess the overall gist of the post today is be mindful when you are talking to other women.
You get further with honey, then with lemon.

October 19th, 2010

No, I am NOT a Hypocrite…

I found out we were expecting our third child almost two full months ago. During this time I have put an insane amount of thought into our options for birth. I searched high and low for a provider who would even accept me as a patient for a VBA2C… I dug through surgical reports, research, had awesome ladies like Amy Romano, and Kristen from Birthing Beautiful Ideas help me write letters to the backup OB/GYN’s of the midwives I love so much.

It has been stressful, and I have had up after down, after down, and then up again. I have been confused, worried about judgment, felt attacked and unsupported, and loved all at the same time. I took my thoughts about having a VBA2C vs. a repeat cesarean out of the public spotlight and started to discuss it with two people that I trust the most.

1. My husband
2. My midwife who attended my VBAC attempt in May 2009.

The two people I knew would ….

1. Not pull any punches with me
2. Tell me like it is
3. Support me in my choice.

They did when I was in labor with Benjamin, they did during the surgery, and they did in my postpartum period.

After looking at surgical reports, taking my last labor and birth into consideration, and all the factors in between, I have made the very educated and hard decision to opt for a scheduled cesarean this time around. I think one of the biggest statements, and ideas that has remained in my head through all of this was my midwifes speculation on my pelvis. And the more I think about Camden, and Ben’s births, the more I think that there very well may be a malformation that doesn’t allow my babies to get down into the pelvis. Neither ever made it, and there is little hope this one would either.

With the damage done by the two surgeries, one NICU stay, two emotional recoveries, and serious lack of support after my first son, I know that I can make things different this time around. Do I want to have another cesarean?  No. Not at all, I never wanted to have one, or even two… it was just the cards that I was dealt. Do I want to plan to have a scheduled delivery after bitching about other people doing it for years?  No. But the difference at this point is… and this is also where the title of this post comes from… the vast majority of scheduled cesareans in this country taking place have no medical reason.  This situation I am facing has a number of medical reasons.  And if I felt like there wasn’t going to be hundreds of people picking the reasons apart, I would certainly share them more openly. Unfortunately in recent weeks, it seems like internet harassment over medical choices that peaked, and it is something I am not going to deal with.

Especially over a choice that hurts me to come to terms with myself.

I have opted to go to the backup OB/GYN’s that my personal midwives I used last time around have. And my midwife from Benjamin has signed on to be with me for my surgery, and postpartum time in the hospital as my doula, which means the world to me since I lost Karen (My doula) a year ago unexpectedly.  It makes me know my experience will be more comfortable, and I will have not only my husband, but her with me, two people I trust very much to help my experience.

I will be writing a positive cesarean birth plan over the next couple months in a real attempt to make this not only a Family Centered Cesarean, but a positive experience for all of us.

Am I dreading the recovery?  Yes, I am scared to death.

After my first c-section, I had a newborn I was able to lay and rest with all day. Breastfeed in my bed, and change his diaper right there also.

With my second c-section, my husband was home and able to help me through my recovery. I laid in bed for weeks, not only in pain, but an emotional wreck from a failed VBAC.

This time around, I will have a 3 year old, a 2 year old, and a newborn to take care of after the surgery with little help. It is scary!

September 8th, 2010

Talking Hypnobabies with Michael!

I have known Michael for a little over a year, but I have known her through the childbirth community since her oldest son was born. I have watched from a far her choices of home births, and being a hypnobabies advocate, and birth professional in my area. I was looking for something fun to do, and I talked to her about doing an interview about hynobabies and her experiences…

So welcome Michael, and enjoy reading!

1) What is Hypnobabies?

Hypnobabies is Hypnosis for Childbirth. Some call it “hypnobirthing” but that’s a completely different program. Hypnobabies teaches moms *real medical hypnosis* from Gerald Kein’s famous Painless Childbirth techniques for the birth of their babies. With this technique, moms can enter hypnosis, deepen it themselves and remain mobile during labor, completely comfortable at all times. Using and practicing the Hypnobabies creates an automatically peaceful, relaxing and more comfortable pregnancy, a calm confident “Hypno-Dad”, and an easier, fearless and often pain-free birthing for the “Hypno-Mom”. I mention Hypnosis for birth and I’ve seen people immediately start putting up a wall. They’re confused by the fake stage hypnotists and what Hypnosis really is. It is NOT someone controlling your mind, or having you do silly things while they wave their hands around your head in dramatic ways. All Hypnosis is self-hypnosis. You are always in control of your own mind and your body while in hypnosis. You choose to enter hypnosis, stay in hypnosis, accept the suggestions, and emerge from hypnosis at all times. Stronger-minded and stronger-willed people are easier to hypnotize; not the other way around as is usually assumed. Hypnosis is not religion-oriented at all, just a way to direct your inner mind toward the positive for great personal benefit. What I really love about Hypnobabies is that it’s a complete childbirth education course, in addition to the self-hypnotic techniques. Because it’s a complete childbirth education, they don’t have to go elsewhere to another class to fill in any gaps.

2) Why did you choose Hypnobabies?

My aunt was taking a class to become a hypnotherapist. She first led me to the idea of using hypnosis for birth. I was honestly skeptical. I’m a Christian and was pretty clueless about hypnosis, having only ever seen the stage hypnotists and hearing about “mind control”. I thought it was someone *else* controlling my mind, which is false. I had already decided on a homebirth, so I figured I would look into the hypnotic techniques as my method of birth preparation. In my internet search I found that there were no Hypnobabies instructors in my area. I thought that I would benefit more from a live class so I took another program that did have an instructor near me. I was sorely disappointed. I learned next to nothing about Hypnosis, and it didn’t even touch on what to expect from the birth process itself. It took me a couple of months to figure out that I was severely lacking (and trying to write up my own scripts!!) I talked to my husband about buying the Hypnobabies Home Study program. In his mind, we’d already taken a class. He asked “Can’t you just… tough it out?” I bought the home study. I learned MORE about hypnosis AND birth in just the first weeks “class” than I did in the entirety of the other program. I felt like now I had something that would help me. Because I was so far behind in all this, I read the entire 5 courses in one sitting.

3) Can you tell us how Hypnobabies helped with your birth experiences?

I have had three VERY unique births. The first of which, I had only NINE days of practice with my Hypnobabies tools. NINE days, need I emphasize more? They really suggest at least 6 weeks of practice! I started my birthing time at 5am. I experienced no discomfort at all until 4pm. My son was born at 10:26pm. Between 4pm and his birth I had some pretty severe back labor as my son had turned posterior. The original program that I had taken had this underlying thought that if mothers experienced pain “they didn’t want it enough”. So I was disappointed in myself. However, Hypnobabies does NOT teach that at all. Looking back now, I’m rather proud of myself. Back labor was tough, and at the end was painful. I think I was holding him in. My mother’s plane arrived at 4pm, she didn’t get to my house until 6pm. My midwives said they saw me visibly relax when she walked into the room. Imagine what I could have done with 6 weeks of practice! As it was, I used every break in between a birthing wave to use my Hypnobabies tools and go completely loose, limp and relaxed so I could rest for the next one. That helped tremendously. My mother commented that I would go so deep and relax so completely into her arms that she had to hold my head out of the birthing tub. The next birthing wave would start and I would pop right up and start moving around for comfort.

My second birth I started practicing in my second trimester. I wanted the best use of time and practice, especially with my first baby running around. I hear the “time” excuse a lot. “I don’t have the time for all that practice.” Who does? In reality, everyone is working or doing something in their lives that takes up time. It’s about priorities! What do YOU want out of your birth and are you willing to put the “TIME” into it to get it? In all honesty, I would put my cd’s on before bed and listen to it as I fell asleep. This was a perfectly acceptable way to practice. My conscious mind wasn’t the part that needed to pay attention. My subconscious did. When I got up to pee in the middle of the night, I would put the cd back on. During any down moment during the day, I practiced the “finger drop technique” which is unique to Hypnobabies. It’s what allows moms to use their hypnosis as well as walk around and bounce on the birth ball. I definitely wanted to be able to do this, so I practiced it a LOT. In the end, my second son’s birth was nothing short of enjoyable! It was definitely intense. I knew that going in. Birth is intense! But his birth was intense joy, intense pressure, intense stretching. I laughed during my birthing waves, I enjoyed them. I had mild discomfort during transition, but I had amazing support and I knew comfort measures that helped from having had my previous son. Pushing was wonderful and I enjoyed it immensely. It felt productive! I gave birth to a 9lb 5oz baby boy with absolutely no tearing. Hypnobabies taught me not just to use hypnosis for birth, but positioning to aid in descent. I learned to “breathe” my baby out (which I did in combination with the utter throw down pushes my body produced.) But I was able to ease his head out gently. You can see his birth on youtube :  (By the way… Check out Midwife and Science & Sensibility writer Amy Romano in the video!)

4) Tell my readers about your outstanding hospital birth?

Ahhh Trillian. Well first off I have to thank my incredible mother. And my insanely awesome Doula and dearest friend – Emily. Their loving, unfaltering support during my pregnancy and very long birth (by my standards) were nothing short of the best anyone could ever imagine or hope for. I love them with all my heart! Trillian’s pregnancy was such a stressful one. I developed blood clots in my first trimester and was put on blood thinners for the duration of the pregnancy. Home birth went out the window with the snap of a finger. With that, I was thrust into the high risk category, which meant a hospital birth at a big teaching hospital. My dad was a paramedic, I’ve been around hospital all my life. This time though, I was scared out of my mind. I started my Hypnobabies practice EARLY in this pregnancy so I could have the mental relaxation and positive reinforcement to help me get through the pregnancy with some sort of sanity. At every bloody appointment I went to, I had one nurse who loved to tell me “You could die”. Okay, I don’t know if she “loved” to say that, but she did. I can’t tell you how many times I heard “Pulmonary embolism is the number one killer of pregnant women in America.” Regardless of whether it’s true or not, they had no cares about how saying something like that repeatedly would make me feel. So like I said, stressful.

In the end, I was 34 weeks when they first discovered low fluids. We made the deal to see if I could up my fluid levels over night and if so they wouldn’t induce me. Thankfully, I was able to do just that. But the very next visit, my levels were lower than before. I had been downing water like crazy, so that let me know something was wrong. I should have been able to keep it up with oral hydration alone. They also happened to discover her being a footling breech. Here in America, they like to refuse to induce (let alone birth at all) a breech. That would mean an automatic c-section. I made another deal, give me that night to see if she would change position, since she had been head down when I walked into that office. They wanted my fluids up anyway before they started the pitocin, so the deal was made. That entire night I pestered the baby until I felt her head in my hip. I prayed she’d turn head down all the way, and the next morning the resident was completely shocked to find her head down! Induction it was. The next couple of days I was so thankful for the childbirth education that Hypnobabies had first provided me 4 years ago. There was a LOT that I now knew about, and I had options. There’s a quote that I love that says “If you don’t know your choices, you don’t have any.” For the life of me I can’t remember who said it, but I feel that it rings true.

They wanted to use cytotec with me but I refused. They wanted to rupture my membranes (wasn’t their concern that I had low fluids?? Not a day ago, they had threatened me with stillbirth if I didn’t go to the hospital ASAP because of low fluids. Now they wanted to take away ALL the fluids?). I refused and said that if we needed to in the end, that was fine but I wanted that protective bubble as long as possible. I opted for a foley bulb to aid in manual dilation. That got me a couple centimeters. Then the rest was all pitocin– upped slowly. I had to remain on the monitors, but they put me in the room that had telemetry. I moved around a LOT. I slept on the floor on blankets instead of the bed because that was what was most comfortable for ME. I sat in the shower for hours. I was very comfortable just using my hypnotic tools, and staying in my “zone” for about 36 hours. I asked that the nurses provided me be ones who would help me achieve a natural (drug free) birth. I had a couple of awesome doctors who kept people out of my room.

There are a lot of what if’s for me. What if I popped my water earlier? What if I had taken something to help me sleep during the night? That was what did me in, I was so SO tired. I had been in the hospital the week prior. I was in the hospital the night before the induction. I was pooped. I was becoming very uncomfortable. I was proud of myself for using my Hypnobabies to handle the back to back birthing waves that never really went away. They were constant. I ended up getting an epidural when I was checked and found to –still- be at 5cm. My goal now went from drug free, to vaginal birth – period. I feared that if I wore myself out too much, I wouldn’t achieve that. I hated the epidural. It didn’t work the first time, leaving my left hip open to all the discomfort. So they had to administer it all over again. They thankfully left it a “low dose” epidural. I didn’t feel the discomfort, but I felt the birthing waves. I could move my legs and feet, but couldn’t really feel it when I scratched my leg. 6 hours later, I was checked and found to be at 8cm. I told them that I didn’t feel rectal pressure but I felt vaginal pressure. They said it would be a while and walked out of the room. I told the nurse again that I felt like she was coming out. She checked me and baby’s head was a knuckle from crowning. I birthed my baby into my hands, with the help of a WONDERFUL nurse to help catch. The video seems to be utter “panic” around the baby being born “without assistance”. The truth is we planned it out, and made it seem urgent. They had their chance, they walked out. Lol I had her 15 minutes after they found me at 8cm. Don’t underestimate mothers, especially a third time mom! There was worry about her health being that she was only 35 weeks, but she came out, peed on me, then nursed. My healthy little thing, I was SO happy. You can see me “breathing” her out here in the video. I did very little pushing, my birthing waves did it all for me. So I literally just breathed and “ahhhhh’d” her out.

5) Would you change anything about your births?

Had this been asked days or weeks after their births, I’d probably say yes and list some things I would have changed. Now, I pretty well accept them. They helped form my thoughts and opinions today. They showed me how much I can overcome, and just the amount of control my mind has over my body. I’m proud of myself, and I’ve loved the birth experiences that I’ve had. Even Trillian’s, though it was less than my idea of “ideal”. I believe that it has gone a long way in helping me to overcome my fears of a hospital birth. I learned just how in control I am over my own reproductive health, even if it takes an argument or two. I learned how backwards their reasoning is sometimes! I learned how loved and cared for I am by the people I chose to be on my support team. They were up and tired just as every bit as I was! So, no. I wouldn’t change anything.

6) Do you think your experiences would have been different had you chose a different birthing method?

I would have to assume yes. I really don’t think I would have had the pain free birth experiences that I have had, had I NOT used Hypnobabies. Their program is so detailed and easy to learn, and their techniques are what helped me in ALL of the births, no matter the outcome. Roan’s birth was super hard, but I accomplished a LOT with only 9 days of practice. Willem’s birth was so amazing, I had the practice behind me and I could literally just sit in the tub, enjoying and relax with my “lightswitch” tool that I learned. Trillian’s birth was empowering thanks to all the incredible information I’d learned and put to good use. Granted this was my third birth, but I had the confidence to say no to a procedure I felt would do more harm than good. I learned how to talk with my care providers, ask the questions, take the time to think it through. Not just blindly jump into a situation. That coupled with my hypnosis, made her birth that much bearable if not easier than had I not. There are so many wonderful programs out there that have excellent childbirth education. It’s my feeling though that the education, and the relaxation techniques – combined with the deep Hypnosis to help in pain elimination really goes light years beyond any other program that I’ve heard of. Hypnobabies really has it all. No offense of course!

There is NO ONE RIGHT WAY. There is only what feels right to that individual mother.

I want to thank Michael for opening up for an amazing post, and great birth experience to share with my readers!

August 30th, 2010

Goodbye Sanity!

If you recall, I made a post a couple weeks ago about my toddler pooping like my mothers chihuahua in her backyard as an answer to all those people who asked when we plan on having our third child. Well apparently someone else had different plans for our family. For the past week or so I haven’t been feeling too hot. Not sick, but just really tired. I was freaking out slightly, but I assumed because we have been careful (besides a minor accident we had) it as another issue like anemia, or maybe something being off with my thyroid.

Goodbye Sanity! Hello Third Elwood Child!

Well I guess I was wrong. And after a week of sitting on the edge of my seat, and a full 24 hours of disbelief and shock, and lots of questions flying through my head about VBA2C, providers, money, a new car that can fit 3 car seats safely, money, money, and money again, and heck, where are we going to PUT another kid?  I have come to terms and now I am in Momma Bear mode. Get shit done and take no prisoners….

I have a laundry list of things to do in the next 9ish months.

I think my husband took it the best out of the two of us. As I cried like a baby spouting off question after question, he kept it together and just said we need to do X, Y, and Z and we will be fine… Calm down, relax, and everything will be ok.  Thank god for him and his calm reaction, even if it was only a show in front of me to keep me from running down to the Housatonic River Bridge and hurling myself off the side.

So, sit back, and relax, and watch the loss of my sanity over the next 9 months.  It should be a fun ride.

July 8th, 2010

The Problem With Blanket Consent Forms

A small debate started with a woman by the name of Kristin who is a labor and delivery nurse, it is regarding IV’s and blanket consent forms. She was offended by a statement I made in my post about IV’s allowing nurses, and providers having access to giving birthing mothers pitocin, or other medications without their full consent for the medication. Which sadly is legal because of the blanket consent for treatment forms women sign when they are admitted into the hospital.

Sounds backwards right?  You sign a consent from before anyone in the facility even touches you, and then when the time comes for treatment they do what they want or feel is needed.  Sometimes without the consent of the patient, which is the example that I was using in my post.

I started to think about this more, and realized how not only outdated, but problematic these blanket consent forms can be, especially in a labor and delivery setting. I understand there are Good OB’s and hospital staff out there, but unfortunately for the women giving birth in the United States, and all over the world, this just isn’t the case all over. There are bad hospital staff, and OB’s, there are bad midwives and doulas, but the problem is the hospital staff, bad or not can leave a lasting impact on a woman through her birth.

Just like your wedding day, the day your child is born is a day you will never forget. Amy Gates made a great post about this last week and comparing how much research and time people put into a wedding vs. figuring out the kid of birth they would like, and what they want for their experience.

But it all goes back to this simple consent form women are signing before they are treated. Don’t sign this blanket consent?  They will not treat you… off to another hospital or back home for you. There is just no way around it.  Many of these forms are in place for liability reasons.  You sign it and you have consented to your treatment in that hospital, no matter what they do to you.

Unwanted vaginal exams?  They are A. OK!
Didn’t sign a consent for that c-section?  Yes you did!  (This is what happened to me with my oldest son. I was rolled off to the Operating room, no consent signed, and when I looked into it after the fact, I was told the blanket consent form I signed at admission was a consent for that cesarean. Bullshit if you ask me!)
Don’t want pitocin?  Don’t matter what you want, your OB orders it, and you are getting it, and the kicker is you consented to it!

This is not what real informed consent looks like, this is shady, and backwards. This is violating women daily all over the country.
No, this is not happening EVERYWHERE but ignoring the fact that it is happening is like sticking your fingers in your ears and saying “Na Na Na Na Na” like a 4 year old.

I say?  Out with the blanket consents and in with more options for real informed consent for our birthing women. This is what we need to prevent more birth trauma, abuse of birthing women, and help promote the births mothers want, not what the hospital one-size-fits-all conveyor belt births are designed for.

June 30th, 2010

Birth Advocates or Extremists in Disguise?

In the past week I have been watching twitter closely and observing a first time mother become overdue and some of the comments she got as she considered talking to her provider more about labor induction. While I am not someone who supports labor induction for non medical reasons, I am someone that supports women being able to make their own educated choices in their health care.

Now, we all may favor natural childbirth over medicalized childbirth, but when we start telling women they are uneducated, or putting them down, this is not going to reflect positively on the natural childbirth community. I have had so many women pregnant, and not pregnant contact me via twitter thanking me for my information and not putting it in a radical way.  I always viewed myself as a radical when it came to passing along information regarding childbirth too.

I think it was about a year and a half ago I made the change from radical to true advocate. I had a couple people in our local community talk to me about my approach on childbirth and give me some tips that could help me get my message across in a more positive manner. One of these women is a highly respected local midwife, and also internet blogger. So when her words came out, I listened very carefully and then started to understand and see that the message I had, and information I was passing along was received better when backed up with facts, information, and given in a positive delivery than it did before when I would just rant and rave about how bad hospitals are or about how women are idiots for listening to their provider and taking their word as gold.

While those are certainly some things I believe, there it just a better way to approach things that wouldn’t make me look like a raving lunatic and in that period of time, I also found my message is reaching more people. From increasing my own blog traffic, writing for our local newspaper about childbirth, pregnancy, and early parenting, and getting on board the new Giving Birth With Confidence Blog powered by Lamaze, and reaching more women in my local community, it has really put my message and approach into perspective for me.

Certainly there is a time and place for rants, and for raves. I saw some amazingly authored ones this week by Kristen at Birthing Beautiful Ideas, and from my all time favorite blogger Gina The Feminist Breeder, which talked about Doula Bans and birth plans. Well authored, amazingly worded, positive outcome rants. Which is how we should all work to word our rants instead of spur of the moment words we can’t take back that will in turn make others look differently at you, or maybe not take you as seriously as they once did.

The purpose of this is not to hand slap anyone, or to say you should or should not be approaching childbirth the way you do, or the way you council women, or tweet, or however you are involved. The message is simply step back and take a look at your approach and ask yourself… Will this be helpful or hurtful to the cause I am working for?

June 5th, 2010

Before the Baby : Interview with The Baby Makin{g} Machine

Most of my readers already know Jenn from The Baby Makin{g} Machine blog, but if not, you can check out a little about Jenn at her blog. I first encountered her on Twitter in the early stages of her pregnancy.  I quickly became interested in her as I usually flock to first time mothers in an attempt to help them NOT go through what I did with my oldest child.

So, we have kept in touch, and I have watched her belly grow, the shower gifts arrive, and the cute baby projects come to life. Really has made me want a little girl. Haha!

So now Jenn is 37 weeks, and heading towards her final stretch. The other day Jenn agreed to a short interview which I thought would be an awesome idea for a blog post!   Below is the interview I had with her about her upcoming birth, and we plan on checking back in with Jenn when her new little one is a couple weeks old!

Momotics : Are you going to spill the beans on Spawnies name? Maybe an initial?

Jenn : I was just debating about this on my blog… I was thinking I’d post her first name in a virtual “birth announcement” after she’s born, I love her name, it’s unique and pretty, but because of that makes me want to not share it too. Initial for sure I’ll share She has my initials, like I have my moms and my grandma’s! I was thinking of nicknames she could go by and my friend Danielle suggested I call her “Little J” It was perfect! But I added a gangsta twist: Lil’ J.

Momotics : How ready do you feel for labor and birth?

Jenn : Oh man I feel so ready… BRING IT. I say. I think I’m as ready as I’m going to be. I’m not scared at all… I think I’m most scared about pushing for so long that my baby has a cone head… That thought has been the scariest about this whole experience, but that wouldn’t be permanent… So I guess if that’s the worst that can happen, I’m in good shape. I just have been calling/picturing alien/Spawnie for so long that I’m worried they’ll manifest at birth.

In all seriousness though, I’ve read SO MUCH information about labor and birth… Almost to the point where I’m like “ok, enough, it can’t be this complicated, everyone who’s on the Earth today had a mom do this, I’m over-thinking things!”

I think the fact that I’m so open-minded about it all, and the fact that not only I but my HUSBAND knows a lot about the process, will make it so that my experience is a good one no matter what.

Jenn : I think I’ve decided no on this one. I watched other #twitterbirths progress and they stressed me out, and I’m not even the one in labor! Everyone has something to say and everyone wants to give advice. When I tweeted about getting a GBS test I got tons of responses of people saying “they swiped my butt” and “no way! if they swipe your butt you’re gullible.” Using Twitter to help me choose a car seat to register for was also information overload. While on one side it’s great to have 6000 doulas at hand, I think this is an experience I want to have with my husband and not the world.

Don’t worry though, I’m sure I’ll be tweeting about loosing my mucus plug, early labor, and that we’re on our way to the hospital… Or at least announcing she’s born

Jenn : I loved our Lamaze classes. I feel like I’ve talked so much with people online about birth but it was nice to be in a class with other pregnant women and to have a teacher I could physically go talk to and throw questions at. It was also nice having my husband there and talking about birth a lot more together, and also practicing techniques we’ll use together before (practicing) and on the big day.

Jenn : Oh for sure. They say the class talks about epidurals and stuff, and they do, but there’s definitely more of a focus on coping techniques for the natural parts… Which I think people would find useful even if they decided to get an epidural, I mean it’s not like it’s not going to hurt some for that first little bit. Now you know how to cope with it!

We watched really good videos of natural childbirth and they really made me think “I can do this!” Also, I’m not really a numbers person, but I’m a visual person, so when we talked about average amounts of contractions during transition, how long the first stage of labor is for first time moms, positions you can move to to help with pressure, pain and progress and things like that, looking at charts kind of helped me put it in my head that it’s doable and not going to last forever, like I may have thought had I not known that the first stage may take about 14 hours or more.

Jenn : I think he’s as ready as he’s going to be. I worry a little about how he’ll be on the day of it all. In my birth plan I ask that people not offer me pain medication, and that I’ll ask for it when I’m ready, and that hopefully would be around at least 5-6cm. My doctor is trying to help us have a natural childbirth (if that’s what we want to stick with). We’ve talked a lot about different positions, wireless monitoring and not getting an IV, pitocin, etc.

At our last appointment I was asking about food for my husband and she had said “well during natural childbirth you usually won’t want to see your husband eating a nice meal right in front of you.”

My husband was like “Woah woah, I thought in our birth plan we said we are open to an epidural!” haha. We had to go back over how I’m not going to say “don’t give it to me no matter what” but that we’re preparing for a natural birth and going to see how it goes.

I think he’s a little scared of seeing me in pain and I’m wondering if he may cave at some point and be like “do you want an epidural?” (in fact he jokingly asked me last night when I was crying about something else)  but I’m making him a nice chart today with key words and phrases he can use and can’t use, hopefully that’ll help. *Sigh* We’ll see. He makes me laugh though, and he’s a good support. Regardless of how he does in the delivery room he’s going to be an amazing daddy like he already is a great husband.

Jenn : Oh man, I was so back and forth on this until the last moment. After our first Lamaze class I was like “ok, you suck, we need a doula” but then all of the same questions we had before resurfaced, and I talked to a doula friend @austindoulagirl on the phone, whom I had talked to before about our doula hesitations. She was really nice and said if we needed to call her the day of and she’s around she’ll talk us through things, but reaffirmed that she respected why we opted against one in the first place. She said dads don’t always step up until it’s show time, then they do great in the delivery room.

This made me feel better (and made me think she’s an awesome doula and did exactly what they’re suppose to do by reaffirming my desires) so we went back to “no doula.”

Recently I had an offer from an experienced doula in training who offered to help on our big day for no charge. My husband and I talked it over again but once again decided this time we’re going to go for it just us.

Momotics : What would your ideal birth be like?

Jenn : I’ve written about this a lot and it’s always changing. My ideal birth would be getting in “the zone” not feeling pain, just pressure, and laboring naturally as long as possible. If that means the whole way, cool, but if I’m getting tired and want pain medication I see nothing wrong with that. Hopefully I’ll have progressed enough where it just helps me relax a little more and BOOM… four hours later we’re ready to push! I push her out, I’m the champ, we all are so happy.

Rewind for more preferences… Once we get to the hospital I’d like to be able to walk around, get in the shower, and things like that. We have music ready and snacks packed. I think it would be nice to have the lights dimmed and just get in “the zone” and ready to meet my little girl. But if I’ve really stayed at home as long as possible there’s a chance I’ll get there and be like “DRUGS NOW!” But I’m trying not to think that way.

Little side vain things I think would be nice would be having my cute hospital gown on, having my hair not looking crazy in pictures, and having a healthy (non-coneheaded) baby.

I guess the bottom line is I just want to enjoy the experience. I’ve done all that I can to prepare and now all I can do it just do it! I’ve tried not to get my heart set on too many specific details because I know things can need to change, and then what? No Plan B? Instead I’ve thought a lot about what one of my friends told me “birth was such an exciting, amazing, and fun experience, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”

She had an epidural, and never thought twice about her decision early to get one. I wasn’t ever considering attempting a natural childbirth until someone on twitter said “Well be ready in case your epidural doesn’t work.” Since then I’ve been preparing as if I’m not going to have pain medication, and in the process, become a lot more open to laboring naturally.

Overall though, I keep reminding myself of the things I really care about, and try not to loose sight of just enjoying the moment with the love of my life and our coming new baby, no matter what.

The first child is usually the one your practice things on right? We’re going to try to birth without one with Lil’ J, and if it goes all wrong, well, we can always hire one for baby number two.

June 3rd, 2010

You & Your Baby After Birth

In the first hours after your baby is born, skin to skin contact, and keeping the mother with the baby at all times is something hospitals, and parents should be practicing everywhere. Unfortunately it is not as common as it should be, especially in U.S. hospitals.

I have been using a lot of the Mothers Advocate videos lately, and I wanted to share another on this healthy birth practice which fits into the 6 healthy birth practices of Lamaze. I think a blog post with a short video, or picture is always more appealing to readers, right? Haha!

But why is it so important that we keep our babies with us and have skin to skin contact with our newborns in the first hours after birth?  In the first hours and moments after a baby is born, they are going through an amazing transition into a whole new world. From the safety and space of your womb to a big new world with bright lights, noises, and new people.

Some of the new activities your babies is learning is how to breathe air, suck, swallow, and regulate their own temperature outside of the womb. Doesn’t sound like it is a lot for them to do, but it is.  As mothers we should want to make this transition for our babies as easy as possible.

So what are the benefits of having skin to skin contact after a baby is born?

• Babies who have the skin to skin contact cry less
• Have more stable temperatures
• Have more stable blood sugars (which the lack of skin to skin contact with my second son, because of my cesarean made a change in his blood sugar which resulted in a 30 hour NICU stay.
• These babies breastfeed sooner, longer, and much more easily.
• The babies are being exposed to normal bacterias on the mother, which can protect them from getting sick from unhealthy, or other types of bacteria, especially if birthing in a hospital.
• And they have lower levels of stress hormones.

These are all big plus’s for mothers right?

But what about my sleep? Why can’t I just send the baby to the nursery for the night and rest up till I get home, then I can do this whole skin to skin thing right?

Wrong!  Studies show that mothers who give birth in a hospital and have their babies room in, get just as much sleep as those mothers who are sending their babies off to the nursery for the night.  These same studies have shown the babies who went to the nursery often have more issues breastfeeding, making the breastfeeding relationship between mother and baby much more difficult.

But what if my hospital doesn’t allow this?

If your hospital cannot bend to accommodate a mothers wishes, especially something as simple as skin to skin contact after birth, or postponing most newborn evaluations, look for a new hospital that is more mother and baby friendly. It is never too late to change the birth venue.

For more information on Skin to Skin contact and why it is so important for newborns, check out the Mother’s Advocate handout.

June 1st, 2010

Why Aren’t Women Choosing Natural Childbirth?

This seems to be a question that keeps popping up in my life. From the discussions I watch on Cafemom, to people in my own lives. Over the weekend when discussing childbirth among women at the fire house, mostly girlfriends and wives, I was shocked when most discussed wanting a natural birth. It was almost like that pleasant change I have been working so hard towards, and I haven’t even been brainwashing this crowd. LOL!

So, I wanted to share a quote from The Official Lamaze Guide, and discuss some of the things detailed in it and why they concern me. If you would like to read along in the book if you own it, the quote is located on page 5 in the box on the side.

” In spite of evidence, U.S. maternity care continues to sabotage normal birth rather than support it. In 2002, the Listening to Mothers survey learned that among nearly 1,600 new mothers across the U.S., 44% had labor induced, 71% did not move freely during labor, 93% had electronic fetal monitoring, 86% had intravenous lines, 74% gave birth on their backs, and almost 50% of their babies spent the first hours after birth with hospital staff. Only 1% of the women experienced all six care practices that promote normal birth, and none of these women gave birth in a hospital.”

Lots of alarming statistics in there. Of course the survey only included 1,600 women, but it does give us a real look into the way women are giving birth today, despite evidence showing these practices are outdated, unfounded, or harmful rather than helpful.

44% of women had their labor induced!!

That is a huge number for labor induction, especially since labor should only be induced in a medical situation. Letting labor begin on its own is key for a successful natural birth experience for so many women. It is also the way our bodies are meant to work, and the natural stages of pregnancy, and life in general. We need to stop interfering with a natural process with no indication of actually needing to step in.  Inductions lead to more epidurals, more cesarean sections, pit to distress, and many more complications including premature babies.

71% of women did not move freely during labor.
Being confined to a bed while laboring is not ideal by any means, not only does it decrease the size of your pelvis, but it also can cause lowered blood pressure, and fetal distress.

93% had electronic fetal monitoring.
Even though numbers of studies have shown no improved outcome to mothers and babies with electronic fetal monitoring. Also, recently there has been a number of controversial articles about fetal monitoring and how providers, or medical professionals are reading the fetal heart tones.  Many think that the over analyzable of small decelarations in fetal heart tones is leading to a higher rate of unnecessary cesarean births.

86% had IV Lines.
Meaning, the hospital providers had easier access to give mother things like pitocin with or without her consent. If I had a dime for every woman that told me she was put on pitocin without even being asked, or told it was going to be starting in her IV line, I would be a millionaire!  Unfortunately until women start complaining about this practice, it is not going to change.

74% gave birth on their backs.
Which we know is probably the worst position for a woman to give birth in. I recently wrote about this in two posts, Positions You Should Be Giving Birth In Part 1 and Part 2. Decreased pelvis size, blood pressure complications, lack of gravity to help with the birth itself are all huge factors in the lithotomy position.

50% of babies spent the first hours of life with hospital staff!
Horrible!  After birth, in those first few hours, it is the most critical time for mother-infant bonding. Between breastfeeding, skin-to-skin contact, and the hormones a mother releases with birth, it is so important for these babies to be with their mothers, not with a stranger.

Only 1% of these women experiences all 6 Lamaze Healthy Birth Practies
Surprising, but not all that surprising to me. Of course they were not in a hospital setting, because if they were in a hospital, they would not have experienced all 6, or even just a few. Hospitals are becoming more and more unfriendly for normal birth practices, as well as less and less Mother & Baby friendly.

Unfortunately despite the number of people who are concerned about these growing trends, the hospitals and maternity care in the U.S. is continuing to get worse, not better. It is a fight for women to have a normal birth rather than one where she is not in control of her care, or treated like a birthing mother, rather than a money making machine.

We are all fighting for change!  Please, if you would like to see change, take a couple minutes and head over to Science & Sensibility, and leave a comment on Amy’s latest post.

May 27th, 2010

Is Vaginal Birth after Multiple Cesareans an Option?

Many women think Vaginal Birth after Cesarean, better known as VBAC is only an option in women who have had one previous cesarean birth. Although the climate surrounding VBAC is not the best, a new published study has shown that VBAMC or Vaginal Birth after Multiple Cesarean’s is a safe option for women who do desire a trial of labor after more than one surgical birth.

Earlier in the year, MSNBC covered the study with an article they published online. The study suggests that :

Women who attempt vaginal childbirth after having several babies by cesarean section may not have a greater risk of complications than women who’ve had only one prior C-section.

Which is something most of the childbirth community has been working to prove for several years now. Personally I know several mothers who have had a VBA2C or even a HBA2C or more, which stands for Home Birth after 2 Cesareans. Amazingly, this study brought the infamous ACOG out of their cave to talk about the findings. ACOG says they do not suggest a VBAC or TOL (Trial of Labor) for a woman who has had 3 or more cesareans, but most of their providers still do not allow any options other than a scheduled cesarean after one previous cesarean section.

More information from the article, which talks about the study on VBAMC includes :

In the new study, however, researchers found that women with at least three prior C-sections showed no increased risk of uterine rupture during vaginal delivery.

In fact, none of the 89 women who opted to try vaginal childbirth had the complication, according to findings published in the British obstetrics journal BJOG.

While a study of 89 women is not a large scale study by any means, it is a huge step forward in research and more acceptance for VBAMC.

This information will help to show that women with 2, 3, or sometimes 4 previous cesarean sections can safely give birth vaginally if that it the path that they choose after having a previous cesarean birth.

Women today are not being given accurate information regarding the risks of elective repeat cesarean deliveries and the complications that can come, or increase with each subsequent cesarean birth, just a couple of the statistics include :

1st Cesarean
Risk of Hysterectomy : 0.65% (1 in 154)
Risk of Blood Transfusion : 4.05% (1 in 25)
Risk of Placenta Accreta : 0.24% (1 in 417)

2nd Cesarean
Risk of Hysterectomy : 0.42% (1 in 238)
Risk of Blood Transfusion : 1.53% (1 in 65)
Risk of Placenta Accreta : 0.31% (1 in 325)
Risk of Major Complications : 4.3% (1 in 23)
Risk of Dense Adhesion’s : 21.6% (1 in 5)

3rd Cesarean
Risk of Hysterectomy : 0.9% (1 in 111)
Risk of Blood Transfusion : 2.26% (1 in 44)
Risk of Placenta Accreta : 0.57% (1 in 165)
Risk of Major Complications : 7.5% (1 in 13)
Risk of Dense Adhesion’s : 32.2% (1 in 3)

4th Cesarean
Risk of Hysterectomy : 2.41% (1 in 41)
Risk of Blood Transfusion : 3.65% (1 in 27)
Risk of Placenta Accreta : 2.13% (1 in 47)
Risk of Major Complications : 12.5% (1 in
Risk of Dense Adhesion’s : 42.2% (2 in 5)