Posts Tagged ‘feminist’

June 24th, 2010

Feminism & The Bachelor

I will be the first one to admit I am a reality TV junkie. But in recent years as the hit ABC series The Bachelor has evolved, I have been becoming more put off by the concept of the show.  One man, 25 women, one winner. While it is a genius ratings cash cow, it is certainly degrading to the 25 women who take part in the show.

I understand the quest for love, I really do. I had all but given up on dating when my husband unexpectedly dropped into my life again after not seeing each other in more than 7 years. I had broken it off with my ex, and made the choice to be single, like I had been for almost two years before that departure.

I would watch these reality shows and dream about being the winner of love, or having a amazing romantic story that took place jet setting all over the globe. But then again, I would never have taken the time to date someone who was seeing another woman, let alone 24 other women. Not to mention that clearly I am no super model wanna-be although I was Jr. Miss Connecticut in 1996. (Haha! That is another story in itself)

What is my point?
Where am I going with this?

The Bachelor is degrading. The men are disrespectful towards the women. The makers of the show paint women in a bad picture, and fuel the unattractive behavior with alcohol, and contests. And in the end, 9 times out of 10 at least, it is the woman who flashed her tits, and put out the most that gets the final rose, and “wins” the contest, or heart of the Bachelor in question.

Of course the vast majority of the couples don’t last, which isn’t surprising, especially once the show airs and the women see just how down and dirty their fiance got with multiple other women when they weren’t around. Of course part of the show, but I have yet to meet a woman that would sit well with.

I just wish American women would take a second look at how we are being treated, like sex objects, material possessions, and exploited by reality television shows, like The Bachelor. We need to build higher expectations for the next generation, and teach our daughters and sons better.

March 27th, 2010

John McCain is NOT a Feminist

Yesterday the AOL welcome screen had a news story asking if John McCain was a feminist. Before I even made it to the article I had to scream “NO” at my computer. Now I understand that she has helped some women advance in their political careers, such as Sarah Palin, but in reality I think to myself, “What rock did he find that ding bat under?”.

While his record on abortion is wishy washy, he still stands on the pro life side wanting to keep abortions legal only for the cases of rape or incest as he stated in 2000. Not allowing women to make their own choices regarding their own medical care is just one of the very many policies or stances of his that I find Misogynistic, not Feminist.

While same sex marriage may not truly be a feminist issue, I have seen many support it and have it become their cause of choice. I can certainly say I know several feminists who identify themselves as “gay” or a “lesbian” and in 2000 John McCain voted no on expanding hate crime laws to include sexual orientation, as well as voting no in 1996 to prohibit job discrimination because of sexual orientation.

McCain voted to gut the Family and Medical Leave act. In 1993, before finally voting for the Family and Medical Leave Act, McCain voted to jeopardize leave for millions of workers by gutting the bill. He voted to suspend the Family and Medical Leave Act unless the federal government certified that compliance would not increase business expenses or provide financial assistance to businesses to cover any related costs.

McCain opposed, a grant program that would use $100 million dollars to help prevent unintended pregnancies as well as teen pregnancy, something that is now growing in our country and not allowing our young women to get ahead in life. Lack of education, support, help, and opportunities because of the lack of programs that could help, not hurt. Just to go along with this, he also voted against legislation that would make abstinence only education programs be scientific and evidence based by law.

McCain opposed Title X, the nation’s family planning program.
In 1990, McCain voted NO on legislation to extend the Title X federal family planning program, which provides low-income and uninsured women and families with health care services ranging from breast and cervical cancer screening to birth control. On top of voting NO for insurance companies being required by law to cover birth control prescriptions.

Now not regarding his voting, but I do not call a man who cheats on his wife, leaves her, and marries the other woman to be a feminist by any means. I think the term I would use for that again would be misogynist.

I know this is a lot to take in, but in my feminist opinion, this man is nothing close to a Feminist and just because he threw Palin into the spotlight, as well as Fiorina, and Whitman… maybe he helped a couple like minded politicians but it certainly does not give him the respect of this Feminist, or most I know!

March 3rd, 2010

Feminist Raising Boys

I always envisioned a brood of little girls, if and when I had children. I must admit there was a point in my life where I was one of the Feminist’s who swore she would be child free, and my parents could attest to that because they nearly died from shock when they found out I was expecting my oldest. I think it was working in the childbirth community, and meeting my DH that really confirmed the choice of having children. But I think that all is a post from another day.

I always thought when I had kids, I would have all girls. Maybe it was wishful thinking on my part because all of my siblings have all boys. Currently in my family, there are 6 grand sons, no grand daughters, and no more siblings having children. I stand alone, but considering the large age difference in myself, and siblings, it is safe to say, it would be better off if they didn’t have anymore.

Now I find myself a mother of two boys, with strong feminist values. Many people have asked me if I was going to raise my boys to “hate men” or “be gay” and all kinds of uber ridiculous questions. Sometimes my first reaction is to want to slap these people or really ask them what they think being a feminist truly means. I know there are a lot of different types of feminists out there though. Which could essentially lead to this confusion. But from my stance, I think I am raising my children to be simply what men today SHOULD be.
Some of the values I want to teach my boys include :

• Equality – Men are not better than women, nor are they superior. They should and must be treated equally whether in the workplace, or simply walking down the street.
• Reproductive Freedoms – Women can, should, and always must have the right to choose what is the best medical choice regarding their own reproductive system. From choices in birth control, to abortion, pregnancy, and birth choices. They are being raised around an active ICAN Chapter, the Worst to First Campaign, and lots of other advocacy organizations.
• Respect – Girls, and women should be respected, not looked at as some sort of possession or piece of meat.  They are human beings, with feelings, and should be treated accordingly. It goes back to the age old treat others the way you want to be treated.
• Gender Roles – I never really thought about this till I met The Feminist Breeder, or never really knew what to call it at least. In our home there are no “Mommy” or “Daddy” jobs. We all do everything. My husband does laundry, cooking, cleaning, and anything else. I mow the law, shovel snow, and fix broken toys. We just do what needs to get done. Fortunately for me, my husband is a much better cook than I am!

I try not to stay in the house a ton because it would completely drive me up the wall (believe me I am going somewhere with this) and I often find myself walking the mall with my kids. I often hear young children, not even teens talking, and because I always am looking for something new to write about, I keep my ears pealed. I can’t tell you how many times I have heard little boys talking in such disrespectful manners about so and so or his sister, or even about this one or that ones girlfriend.  Even to the extend of using the word cunt to describe them.
I was nearly FLOORED when I heard that come out of this little kids mouth, and when I say little kid, I mean he looked like he wasn’t older than 10!   10 freaking years old knowing the C word?!!?

The complete lack of respect for women seems to be starting at such a young age. And this is what I hope to prevent in the values I am instilling in my boys as they grow up. I can’t imagine any other way.

But all in all, being a feminist and having boys does not mean they are going to grow up to be man hating, combat boot wearing, childless, homosexuals who listen to Ani Difranco. So I hope that stereotype is broke now!

February 10th, 2010

When Feminists Draw a Line…

Since I have been a “member” of the feminism community, I have noticed a trend that is not seeming to change. The number of feminists that stop the fight for rights, and choice at abortion. Once a woman makes the decision to continue a pregnancy, they stop fighting for those rights. Now granted, not all feminists are like that. But this really has sparked thoughts in myself, as well as Gina, better known as The Feminist Breeder. Fitting blog title huh?

I found Gina through ICAN, but most people have stumbled upon her blog long before. But what drew me in the most was the amount of similar views that we shared. I was in instant … sistermance?  Is that kind of compatible to bromance? You get the point…

Yesterday she wrote an amazingly awesome blog about exactly what we are going to talk about tomorrow night, I encourage everyone to go over to her blog and read : I’ve Been Annoyed with Feminist This Week .  She in short articulates everything that I wanted to say. We have these giant woman’s rights organizations going to bat over the stupid 30 second Tim Tebow & Focus on the Family ad for the Super Bowl, but when it comes to an 11 minute segment on an elective cesarean section, or a 5 minute segment on water birth, both giving out horrid information to the mainstream public, screw that… it isn’t important enough.

I am so grateful for groups like The National Advocates for Pregnant Women who are truly working on this issue, and not just skimming over issues like this. We can hope that other big named groups such as NOW and NARAL will follow suit.

In light of this real issue, we decided to sit down and talk on the Momotics Radio show this Thursday Night at 10pm EST.  If you don’t know, Gina also has a kick ass radio show herself called The Feminist Breeder and Friends. Tune in Every Sunday night at 10pm CST.  I hope you tune in and join us this Thursday night.

This is not an issue that stops during pregnancy.

For some more cases on pregnant woman’s rights being violated, as well as birthing women, check out the links & video below :

NJ Case of VM
FL Case of Samantha Burton

It really all makes you think!

February 4th, 2010

Being a Feminist & SAHM

I have always been a little on the radical side, from the moment I was a teen and I still like to think I am going strong today, but a little on the more normal side. In high school I was the girl with the piercings, and getting tattoos which I have continued to add into adulthood, minus the piercings, although I wouldn’t mind them again. I found out when I was around 20 that they weren’t as socially acceptable as they were when I was working in a Motorcycle dealership so out they went.
I first started getting involved with the feminism movement when I started getting involved with Planned Parenthood and the pro choice movement in my mid-late teens. I always was independent, whether it came to money, or just doing something myself, and my mother always raised me to never depend on a man for anything. It has stuck with me even today. This because my mother was married at 15, had two kids, and was a single mother by the time she was 18 with not a dime of child support in the mix. So her message always came through loud and clear. I was lucky enough to enter the family when my siblings were 15, and 17 years old, with a father who valued his family.

I knew I always wanted better, and I knew I never wanted to depend on anyone else. I wanted to be a strong and independent woman.

So how does this translate into a stay at home mother right?  Sadly there are many SAHM’s out there that will be saddled with someone else supporting on the until their children are older and independent, and while my husband may be the main bread winner in our family, I could go out tomorrow and do what I need to do to support my boys if that was the case.

But again, it comes back to my choice to give up a good portion of my independence to stay at home with my kids. Most people have asked me why I made the choice to be a SAHM. And my answer has always been the same thing…. “Why would I have kids if I didn’t intend on raising them?”

Now, I am not saying all parents who use daycare are allowing someone else to “raise” their children, but sadly a good portion of them do. Dropping a child off at daycare at 6am, and not coming back to get them until 5 or 6pm is a huge portion of the day, and if they are anything like my children that would allow dinner, a bath, and maybe an hour of interaction before bed. I don’t see that as a fit amount of time for a parent to spend with their child.

I see it slightly different with a two parent household with one parent that is able to stay at home because the children get the constant one on one with at least one parent. How it works in our home is when Daddy gets home, Daddy is the center of the boys universe. Neither boy will even give me the time of day once Daddy has graced us with his presence.  Which allows me to get thing that I need to do done.
Shower, dinner, cleaning, laundry or other things the kids didn’t let me get done while I was alone with them during the day.

I know there are so many feminist out there that will turn a cheek and call me something like a “moo” or a “breeder” but ya know what?  Motherhood is a huge accomplishment to me, and the two children I am raising are far more than a stereotypical name or opinion of a stranger.

I am proud to be a Feminist SAHM.