Posts Tagged ‘teen pregnancy’

December 22nd, 2010

16 and Pregnant Season Finale

While taking my blogging break I hit 20 weeks on Sunday (Will post an update this weekend hopefully) but I wanted to take a couple moments to touch on the season finale of 16 and Pregnant last night. It featured a 17 year old girl who got pregnant having sex one time with her then boyfriend. They were not together long, and frankly he seemed like a giant loser through the episode. But we know how reality television plays that out.

Anyways, Ashley, the mother in the episode, or pregnant teen, whatever you would like to call her at this point of the game decided on adoption for her baby. She knew that she could not properly take care of her, or provide for her, so she made the responsible choice to seek an adoption agency and look for an adoptive family for her daughter. During this process her aunt and uncle stepped in and said they would like to adopt the baby, of course only if it was ok with Ashley.

Now this is where I found things to start getting dicey. Before the family adoption came up, Ashley discussed how she felt closest with this one particular aunt. Always has been very close to her, and felt like she could really discuss anything with her. The more I watched in the episode, the more I personally felt that she was being pressured through her love for her aunt and uncle to please them with the adoption. Not choose the adoption for the right reasons.

My heart broke for this young girl as I watched.

The closer she got to her due date, the more apparent it became that adoption, or at least an adoption within her own family may not be the right choice. Her due date, which was Christmas day, was of course sped up to 12/16 with an unnecessary induction which started when she was not dilated at all. My blood began to boil at the irresponsibility of her provider at that point. Between that, and the purple pushing they instructed her to do, with the oxygen… Almost sent me over the edge, but again not the point of my post today.

In the days after the baby was born, she struggled with the decision of adoption. To the point of keeping the baby for over a month. Her family members that were supposed to be adopting the baby were in so many words calmly freaking the F out. She didn’t want to give her daughter up, but like most teen mother, she didn’t want the full responsibility of the baby.

Now before the teen moms start chiming in and jumping on me, I am not against teen mothers, and I do not think they are all bad. My own mother was a teen parent, and she is a kick ass mom, but it is no secret that good teen mothers do not make up for the majority, and the statistic. Or those girls who have been featured on these three seasons of 16 and Pregnant.

With that being said, she wanted all the help, her mother money, and of course didn’t want the 24 hour a day job of being a mother. When everything got to the point that it all became too real for her, she decided it would be best for her daughter to of course, go live with her family member like originally arranged.

I think what bothered Ashley the most is that her aunt and uncle would be raising the baby as their daughter, not second niece or whatever they would be considered biologically. It is almost like she wanted to be mom, but only at certain times, which clearly isn’t how adoption works.

I do believe that the decision of adoption was best for this girl in her situation, but I fully believe the adoption should have have been through an agency, with social workers, councilors available, and all the typical steps an adoption would use. Unfortunately for Ashley, the whole experience may have caused some long term problems not only for her, but for her family that one day could be torn apart over the legality of the adoption. While it was done legally, it was written by the lawyers for her aunt and uncle.

I think this episode above many of the others, including the adoption story of Caitlynn and Tyler from Season one should be used as a prime example of what not to do. And how not to handle the difficult choice of adoption.

My thoughts are with Ashley, while her daughter is a year old already, I am sure the experience as a whole is going to be something that is with her for her whole life.

August 23rd, 2010

Abstinence Only Education & Why It Isn’t Working

It is no secret that the teen pregnancy rate has grown, along with the STD infection rate amongst our teens since Abstinence Only education has been increased in our country as the main form of sex education in schools. For over a decade, annually, and consistently the teen pregnancy rate decreased under the Clinton Administration, it was no secret why either.
There was an increase in funding for public programs teaching our teens how to prevent an unwanted pregnancy, and also learning how to prevent catching, and spreading STD’s.

Come the second term of the Bush Administration the teen pregnancy rates were starting to rise, and continued to rise as the abstinence programs expanded across the country, despite the repeated studies showing they do not work.

My take as a parent?  Although my son’s are only on the verge of being 3, and a little over one, I still feel very strongly about the subject. I would much rather take the route of educating my boys (and girls if I ever have one) on how to prevent pregnancy, use a condom, what kind of birth control’s there are out there, etc. rather than telling them simply don’t do it and not giving them the tools to be safe if they choose not to listen to me as a mother.

Lets face it, are our children always going to listen to us?  Of course not. It is unreal to think by simply telling our kids not to do something that is going to stop them. Nor will I be a hypocrite and tell my kids that sex is only for married people, because it is not something that I believe, and my oldest son was planned, and born before we got married.

What may work for one family, is not going to work for the next.

With shows like Teen Mom, and 16 & Pregnant, it is clear that the message of “Just don’t do it” isn’t working with our children, as that was the extent of sex education Teen Mom star Farrah got.  And once she became pregnant, her parents hid her from her then boyfriend, and made her choices for her.

Let’s start doing right by our teens and cut out the funding for abstinence only programs, and use comprehensive sex education courses, which also include the option of abstinence, but also teach our children what they can do to protect themselves.

July 17th, 2010

Forever 21 Maternity Line Controversy

Maternity Shirt from the Forever 21 Line

Recently the popular clothing chain Forever 21 announced they will be launching a new Maternity clothing line. Who thought this would have turned into a major controversy?   I certainly didn’t until I read this yesterday.  Basically this writer is insisting this maternity line is for teens and in turn encouraging teen pregnancy.

Last time I checked, I am not a teen, and I shop at the popular mall based chain store. Along with places like H&M, and whatever peaks my interest that week. But not one time have I thought that only teens shop at the popular chain. In fact most of the times I have been in there shopping, with my kids in tow, I see more older women, or 20 something’s in there than teens. Even right down to the workers.

I was shocked then I saw someone implying that Forever 21 is encouraging or being more acceptable of teen pregnancy because they are making a maternity line. All this means is that older women like me that do not really care for the traditional maternity clothes that are typically sold in stores like Motherhood Maternity will not be forced to shop their grandma-esk type styles at marked up prices. Granted there probably some teens out there that will shop this maternity line, but it hardly is going to encourage them to get pregnant.  A hand full of maternity tops and stretch pants is hardly persuasive enough to do that.

Either way, I think that author of that completely is missing the point that most of the people shopping there are not teens by any means, simply because the name of the store is Forever 21.

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April 19th, 2010

Working on my Journey into Childbirth Education

I am currently working on ordering more books I am going to need for my certification, and the workshop I am taking in July, and it seems like time is flying till the Workshop!  I cannot wait, and I can’t believe it is nearly May already!

Right now I am reading The Official Lamaze Guide Giving Birth with Confidence. (Just on a side note, I will be writing for Lamaze coming up on their new blog project thanks to the wonderful Amy Romano!)

But the main reason for my post today is I am starting to fully realize the need for good childbirth education, as well as reasonable access, and prices for the education. In recent months between studies showing women thinking 36 weeks is full term, or a due date, and television shows like 16 & Pregnant and A Baby Story, the message rings clear. We need more access and education.

One of the main factors, especially in young parents or skipping things like childbirth classes, or having a doula is money. It always comes down to the almighty dollar, or just thinking everything will be ok. Sadly for many of these same girls, and even women the modern maternity care system is not on their side, and they often do not even realize this until they are actually in the hospital giving birth, or being induced, or even being in the operating room undergoing a cesarean delivery.

My newest revolution in my journey comes to me with help of my children’s pediatrician, and a local program in place by the hospital I had my original cesarean at. It is called the “Young Parents Program” and is geared towards teen parents from the age 13-19. They are always looking for donations, help, and projects to really help to not only educate these girls but also prepare them for the great challenge of being a parent.

My goal is to offer these young girls free childbirth education classes after I complete this workshop, and start writing my own class.
I eventually want to also put together a group of local doulas who would be available to these same girls for their births, if they have the desire for a birth doula. It will be a long road, but hey, I got all the time in the world.

March 18th, 2010

Sarah Palin : Reality TV Gold!

I was watching the news about two weeks ago, and they did a whole story on Sarah Palin, and her possible choice for a reality television show.  It is no secret that I am not a fan of the Palin family by any means, and I have not hid that at all.

This story made me laugh pretty hard in my own way, from her half witted comments, to the single teen mother daughter, and son barely a year older than her grandson, it has all the makings for a real reality tv show. But unfortunately for Palin, this would be the final nail in her political coffin if she did work on a project of this nature.

Would that really be a bad thing?  Well for me it is a mixed feeling.  On one hand, I love that some of the idiot Republican’s think she is the best thing since sliced bread, but honestly, I wish she would just fall off the edge of the world. I find it really amusing that there is this large community of people out there supporting her for a Presidential run in 2012.  I mean, we all know the choice of her as Vice President is really what cost McCain the election in 2008, at least in my opinion.

Maybe that would buy 4 more years for Obama and the democrats if she ran and actually got the nomination from the Republican Party.

But in the end, the choice for a reality show would make for great tv, it would probably be up there with The Jersey Shore!

February 19th, 2010

MTV’s 16 & Pregnant

I thought last season of 16 & Pregnant was chock full of irresponsible children having children, which confirmed my thought when they used some of those same girls for their most recent series Teen Mom. Until this past Tuesday when they debuted the new season of 16 & Pregnant.
The advertisement of the show says “10 more girls” and I thought to myself, here we go again.

But of course MTV is going to continue to cash in on this Maury Povich type series because they are making a butt load of money off of it. Tuesday’s episode of 16 & Pregnant was #1 on cable, and #2 on TV only behind American Idol. It featured a 16 year old, rather immature girl, and her alcoholic, missing in action, loser of a boyfriend who in the end, saw the baby one time and that was it.
My heart broke for this girl’s mother. I thought Farrah from Teen Mom was bad at ditching her kid to go hang out with boys or party, but this girl took the cake.  At one point she even compared being a mother to being in prison. Clearly a child that was not ready for motherhood.

But I have to wonder, with numbers, and ratings like this, what kind of message are we sending the 13-24 age group, which this show is most popular with? Now, I myself am only 24, soon to be 25, but I did not have my first child till I was 22, living on my own, and fully responsible and supported myself. And to be honest with you I would never have been able to raise a child, and live in my parents home for a wide array of reasons.

But are we showing a glorified message to these young girls of what pregnancy and parenthood is?  Granted most of these girls clearly are not living the high life, but in typical teen mentality, how many will say “Oh well that won’t happen to me” or “Johnny is the love of my life, he won’t leave” when in reality the number of girls on this show that actually had their boyfriends involved in the raising of their children statisitcally was way higher than in reality.

I just think MTV should focus on shows helping teens to prevent pregnancy to begin with, not exploiting them through crappy choices.
Another thing that struck me as strange is…. why hasn’t MTV featured any girls who made the choice of abortion?  It seems to be sending a very one sided message to teens, and young women watching this show.

I don’t know… I guess that is just my take on things.

I hate to see something like teen pregnancy glorified.

February 6th, 2010

Rising Teen Pregnancy Rates

For the first time in a decade, the teen pregnancy numbers are going up, instead of going down like they have been. As an advocate for choice, and an even bigger advocate for education on preventing pregnancy, this is pretty alarming.

But not surprising considering most of these teens were the victim of the abstinence only education programs whose funding was greatly increased under the Bush Administration. Even though these programs have been proven to fail, increase teen pregnancy rates, and STD rates in the groups of teens who did not choose to abstain. It is not rocket science. If teens are not taught HOW to protect themselves through contraception, condoms, and other forms of pregnancy prevention, they will not know.

Sadly today, we cannot depend on parents to teach this. Many believe it is the school’s jobs, and some parents who think it is realistic for all teens to choose abstinence do not teach their children any other options other than, simply don’t do it.

But unfortunately for the teens today, most are not educated on parenting, pregnancy, teen parenting, and really what it takes to be a parent, and support a child.  A recent study that I read published through a CNN article showed the serious lack of education teens have regarding sex. Some of the alarming numbers from this survey :

• 63 percent said they knew little or nothing about birth control pills, and 30 percent said they had scant knowledge about condoms.
• 28 percent of men incorrectly believe they will get extra protection from wearing two condoms at once, a practice that actually leads to condom breakage.
• 18 percent of men wrongly believe that having sex standing up reduces the chance that they will get a female partner pregnant.
• 27 percent of women and 34 percent of men in the survey said serious health problems such as cancer are likely to result from using the pill or other hormonal contraceptives.
• Thirty-two percent said they agreed that “the government is trying to limit blacks and other minority populations by encouraging the use of birth control.
• 4 in 10 respondents said it doesn’t matter whether people use birth control, believing that people get pregnant when it’s their “time.”
• 29 percent of women and 42 percent of men said it is at least slightly likely they will have unprotected sex in the next three months

These are all alarming numbers, especially the amount of teens that THINK birth control will lead to some sort of health problem such as cancer. Yup, birth control now causes cancer, or at least that is the newest rumor on the streets. Even better rumor is that having sex while standing up will not get the girl pregnant.

Who comes up with this stuff?

But some of the reasons we really need to step back and teach our children how to prevent unplanned pregnancies is the statistics regarding teen parents, and teen pregnancy. Some of the more alarming numbers and facts are  :

• Children of adolescents are more likely to be born prematurely and 50% more likely to have a low birth weight.
• Teens often receive less prenatal care.
• Children of teen parents are at a greater risk for developmental delays.
• According to parents’ reports of their children’s health status, 60% of children born to non-teen mothers were rated in “excellent” health,
  compared to 38% for children born to the youngest adolescent mothers.
• Children born to younger teens are more likely to be the victim of child abuse or neglect and also have a greater risk of being placed in Foster Care.
• Children of Teen Mothers are more likely to drop out of school.  Only 77% of children born to adolescent mothers complete high school.
• One researcher looked at the incarceration rates of the sons of young mothers. His findings revealed that 10.3% of those born to mothers age 17 and younger were incarcerated, compared to 3.8% of the sons born to older mothers. That is, the sons of young teen mothers are nearly three times more likely to be incarcerated than those born to adult mothers.
• Children born to teen mothers are more likely to be teen parents.

While being a teen parent is not a sentence of DOOM for the teen, or their child, in many cases like those above, it is. There are success stories, as there are in many cases for many things. But they are not the majority sadly.

I just hope parents actually look at these numbers, and statistics and think twice about talking to their children about really preventing pregnancy until they are older.